what do your husbands (or SO) think of your body?

P

pianoann

Cathlete
Hello, everyone!
I writing this after my husband commented on how my shoulders look "huge," and I got really upset with him. He has said this a long time ago when I first started lifting with my arms. I personally do not think they are too muscular at all, but I want him to like the way I look. I think I have a very femimine body. I'm 5'5, 120 pounds, size 2-4. He said I shouldn't lift with my arms anymore, but I don't want to get flabby! Could doing yoga be better? I do want to add that we recently got married and got back from the honeymoon, so I have started up my routine again after being very busy with planning, so I don't know if my arms are just getting used to the activity again? Any advice would be appreciated!
 
If you don't want to gain anymore size but obviously still want to keep your muscles in shape, start doing more endurance work outs for your upper body rather than strength. That should do the trick for ya, I would think!

HTH!:)
 
Push-ups will help in that way, too.

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Mark Twain ;-)
 
My DH has never complained about my muscle. As a matter of fact, he is proud that I work so hard to stay strong and healthy.
 
The problem is his, not yours. He is insecure and he needs to work on his insecurity problem, while you continue to keep up your great workouts. I'm sure you look wonderful! :D
-Nancy
 
I agree with Nancy. When my husband introduced me to weights 18 years ago, I could not even lift a 3# dumbbell NOW I can lift a 20# dumbbell and he still tells me how proud he is and how great I look. I put on muscle fairly easy so I know I don't have skinny arms.


BTW my husband quit lifting weights but I continued and progressed to Cathe and P90X. My goal now is to be able to do pull-ups in P90X and to be able to do a full body push-up (which I still can't do!)
He supports me all the way.

Kim
 
My hubby just thinks I am too obsessed, but I think he likes what he sees though.;) :9 ! I don't hear of any complaints. My children think I have joined an occult of other obsessed maniacs. LOL!

Charlotte~~
 
My SO thinks I look great and tells me so often.:)

I agree with Nancy that the problem is not yours, but his. However, if you feel you'd like to back off, maybe concentrate on doing endurance workouts, with lighter weights and more reps, instead of going as heavy as you can. You'll maintain your tone but may not be as pumped:)
 
I have a question and this is not meant to start a flame war or anything.... Why when a guy does not like muscular women, it means they're insecure?? I mean, we all have preference of what we like on someone. Some don't like overweight people, some don't like blondes, some don't like blue eyes, some don't like pale skin, some don't like thin people, etc...Does that make the person insecure?? Some guys just don't like women with muscles. So what?? Just because he has a certain preference doesn't mean he's insecure. I know you all have certain preference in men and women.

Anyway, light weights and high reps should do the trick as well using your own body weight instead of a barbell and dumbbells.

Lisa
 
I don't think it necessarily means the man is insecure either. It certainly could be that he just doesn't like the look. Discussions on this site are evidence enough that some of us like a softer look and some like a more muscular look.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to please your partner. IMHO, relationships that cultivate mutal respect and compromise are much happier.
 
DH thinks I look great.He doesn't say it all the time but he doesn't have to.And when he does say it, I know he means it and he isn't just saying it.I have also caught him bragging to his friends about how I workout so I know he likes the fact that I am not lazy and that I really enjoy something.The only thing he is probably envious of his my determination b/c he wants to workout but he just doesn't have it in him.
Lisa and Nancy make good points.You know, being hot, young looking and successful...maybe this is when they find themseleves insecure.We probably aren't what their mothers use to be.We aren't content to stay at home and do things for everyone else, instead we balance our lives and we get things done for everyone else and for ourselves.I know lots of men who don't like muscular women, and I know lots of men who do! But you have to do what makes YOU happy, if you like the way you look...then keep at it! If not, then change.
If you don't like the way your shoulders look, then lay off of the weight for a while. And when you go back at it, do like Wendy suggested, endurance type workouts and push ups should do the trick!
Lori:)
 
My DH :) What can I say anytime he looks at me I feel like he is looking at a piece of chocolate cake (his Favorite). He is always on me like brown on rice. DH tells others that I can lift as much as I want because he can still take me in wrestling }( . As for maintaning and not getting and bulkier I would do as others suggested and back off on the strength and go more for endurance style training. I build muscle in the upper body fast and I walk a fine line between strength and endurance training too.
 
He said I
>shouldn't lift with my arms anymore, but I don't want to get
>flabby!

By "lifting with (your) arms", do you mean doing upper body exercises?

Is it your shoulders in particular that he thinks are "too big," or your entire upper body (arms?).

Upper body strength is important, perhaps especially for women, who are typically proportionately weaker in this area than men. Isn't it good to be able to lift things on your own, and have a margin of safety when lifting lighter things?

If it makes you feel better, Rebecca Romijn (sp?!) has very wide shoulders, and has said that she always thought they were big. Does hubby think they are?
 
Hey Joanne,
I just looked at your fitness pics. You look awesome! I really like your shorts. Where'd you get those? I like those kind of shorts but am having a hard time finding those! Thanks!

Lisa
 
>
> I have a question and this is not meant to start a flame war
>or anything.... Why when a guy does not like muscular women,
>it means they're insecure?? I mean, we all have preference of
>what we like on someone. Some don't like overweight people,
>some don't like blondes, some don't like blue eyes, some don't
>like pale skin, some don't like thin people, etc...Does that
>make the person insecure?? Some guys just don't like women
>with muscles. So what?? Just because he has a certain
>preference doesn't mean he's insecure. I know you all have
>certain preference in men and women.
>
> Anyway, light weights and high reps should do the trick as
>well using your own body weight instead of a barbell and
>dumbbells.
>
> Lisa

Lisa, thanks for saying this. ITA. A DH or SO expressing a preference doesn't make him/her insecure. Of course, s/he could be, but one does not necessarily follow the other.

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
If you are 5'5" and 120 pounds and a size 2 TRUST ME .. you are not HUGE anywhere .. LOL.. GMAB!!!

If YOU think your shoulders are out of porportion yoga will help stretch and lengthen the muscles but yoga requires a LOT of upper body strength and yes .. this means a great shoulder workout .. but still worth the effort in all respects.

.. I would suggest to lower your weight and up your reps if you want to keep the definition and get rid of some bulk .. I tend to bulk up easily and have a family history of females w/large arms and this usually helps me keep the definition and not look like the incredible hulk! LOL

but I have to say .. I doubt you are HUGE anywhere .. LOL .. you keep on keeping on girl .. sounds like you are where you need to be!!!
 
Lisa- Thank you for the comments :) . I love my UofM shorts too!!I love them so much I have two pairs I also Have the matching bra top. I bought them at WWW.MDEN.com . I know they also have them in store too, well at least at the twelve oaks mall store. I imagine they also would have them in both A2 stores also. They are made by Champion, they are 100% cotton shorts(item#CH508). Hope this helps!!
 
I came back into this thread before to say exactly what Lisa pointed out but decided not to for the reason of possible flaming. I guess I am a chicken! LOL Now that it has been put out there though...I must agree. Perhaps it is just his preference that women look better when they do NOT have big muscles. I can totally understand that! I want to be a little muscular but there is a DEFINATE line that I will NOT cross because I just don't care for the look at all....To each his own...now...it's HER decision as to weather she wishes to change her program to make him happy or not and he needs to understand if she chooses NOT to. He should love her for who she is, not how she's built. :)
 
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