Terry Schiavo and eating disorders - continued

Lois,

I read in our Orlando, FL newspaper on Sunday that her parents are claiming she DID NOT suffer from eating disorders. It also stated that was another reason her parents were insisting on an autopsy. They are claiming that she suffered from abuse at the hands of her husband.
 
I wouldn't necessarily believe everything Terri's parents claim (nor would I believe everything her husband claims) - because they are in this huge mudslinging battle and everyone just wants to blame the other side. So I would take every word from their mouths with a huge grain of salt.

Like this article said, it can be difficult to know when someone has an eating disorder - they usually appear just fine on the outside. It's possible that Terri's parents did not realize she had an eating disorder. And my understanding is that the autopsy was required by law (because she was going to be cremated), not requested by her parents or anyone else. However, the autopsy results will likely tell us a lot about the circumstances surrounding her original collapse and her mental state at the time of her death.

I agree that it is good to see someone finally reporting on something other than family feud of this situation. Eating disorders are very serious, and perhaps some good can come of this in that more people will be educated on the dangers of anorexia.
 
I think it's often the case that parents deny the eating disorder diagnosis because they feel that somehow it reflects poorly on them. That it's somehow their fault.
 
I agree with you Emily. I was just stating what I read in our local newspaper.

And Shelley, you make a valid point about parents maybe feeling somehow at fault.

I have never suffered with an eating disorder and never really thought about how severely it could affect one's health. This sure has been an eye opener for me!
 
In addition to society, there is a lot of pressure from parents to be thin. Having an overweight child is embarrassing, at least it was to my mother. When I became borderline anorexic, she thought I looked great despite the fact that my hair was falling out and my nails were thin and breaking. When I gained the weight back, she was angry at me. We're over that now but it was a very big issue between us.

--Lois

"Don't forget to breathe!"
 
Lois - I think you and I were separated at birth.

I got relentless criticism from both my parents, not to mention my older sister, as well as ridicule from my brothers, for the fact that I was overweight in my teens; interestingly, both my parents and my sister were overweight themselves. I developed a fairly vicious bulimia syndrome myself in my teen years, characterized by bingeing followed by laxative purges, and being thinner was about the only thing that made my mother happy as she duked it out with her own weight problems and attendant self-image problems. When I was vomiting and fainting in the halls at school, she didn't seem to notice that. But boy, when I finally got off laxatives and ballooned, that got her attention, toxic though it was.

I know this will anger many parents (as it did when I offered this comment on another forum) but eating disorders are very, very often present in dysfunctional families of origin. IMHO, part of the intensity of the Schindlers' efforts, as well as their hostility toward Michael Shiavo, is misplaced guilt (legitimate or otherwise) at the whole eating disorder issue and how it might reflect badly (again, legitimate or otherwise) on them for possibly failing their daughter in a fundamental way in her formative years.

Let the flames begin.

A-Jock
 
No flames here either Annette.

DH and I came to that conclusion when the Terri Schiavo headlines started.
 
No flames from me either A-Jock. I just saw something on tv the other night....on A&E I think...Michael Schiavo's brother talking about how Terri was all skin and bones in the few months prior to her collapse...no muscle tone whatsoever.
 
Annette, I agree as well. The other thought I had was that medical personnel are hyper-vigilent about domestic violence. I had a huge bruise on my arm once from bumping into something and I got a full interrogation from my doctor at a routine appointment. I would think that if there were signs of physical abuse, it would have been noted when she was admitted to the hospital. I also know people can be emotionally and verbally abused and there are no physical signs of these types of abuses. None of us will ever know what the real story is, I'm afraid.

--Lois

"Don't forget to breathe!"
 
>In addition to society, there is a lot of pressure from
>parents to be thin. Having an overweight child is
>embarrassing, at least it was to my mother. When I became
>borderline anorexic, she thought I looked great despite the
>fact that my hair was falling out and my nails were thin and
>breaking. When I gained the weight back, she was angry at me.
> We're over that now but it was a very big issue between us.
>
>--Lois
>
>"Don't forget to breathe!"


Well considering my mother was elated when I dropped weight after having my son however, when I graduated from college it was no big deal :( . Great priorities huh? She would probable have a happy induced heart attack if I married a millionaire!
 
Annette,
Your words represent the truth about what is happening in our country regarding eating disorders. It is so unfortunate that this topic is not being taken more seriously.

My experience with eating disorders does not involve myself; it does however, involve many of my employees back in the 80's.

I was a manager of a very nationally fashion forward clothing store for 6 years in the late 80's early 90's. At one point in time, every single one of my girls was either battling with anorexia or bulimia. I literally had to limit the bathroom breaks to under 3 minutes as the girls were taking bathroom breaks to regurgitate their lunches. It was horrible to watch these girls torture themselves to fit into the latest fashions. Of course in 1989 when size 0 was introduced, that did not help matters.

I was always close to my employees and did notice one common factor amongst the girls: their parents pressured them to be thin. They all were emotionally decrepid in this area. Very sad. I hope that society will learn a very important lesson in this case. Perhaps this will save a few lives.

Rhonda
 
Rhonda / DB1:

That was an interesting experience you related. Thank you for sharing it.

I almost got third-degree burns on another forum (for fitness professionals yet) when I proferred my original opinion on this matter, from a woman whose daughter was in therapy for anorexia. I found it interesting that this woman's response was so heated, and I couldn't help but think I'd touched a real nerve.

It's my experience that women communicate their own body image issues to their daughters both implicitly and explicitly. And far more often than not, they hold their daughters hostage to these issues. Same as fathers who communicate their own macho hang-ups, especially in sports performance, to their sons.

I doubt, however, that the parents who need to internalize this lesson the most will do so. It's my experience that dysfunctional, controlling people are among the least introspective, and the least willing to acknowledge the fact that they may be failing their children in ways that will impact their adult lives forever.

I find it interesting that the Schindlers are now battling for the body, at least its interment, of Terri Schiavo. The control battle, and the Theatre Of Denial, rage on.

A-Jock
 
Hey A-Jock. I agree with you that parental pressure/family dynamics has a big role in anorexia and bulimia. I think also that in some cases eating disorders can develop without that--at least in my own experience. I developed an eating disorder as an adult, as a reaction to a really bad divorce. No parental involvement whatsoever. True, my problem was classified "only" as an "eating disorder" and had not yet reached true anorexia (at least that's what my doctor and the RD he sent me to told me), but I think (and have also read articles) that this form of disordered eating is growing more common among adult women. So there are multiple sides to this condition that people need to be aware of. Interestingly enough, I was in therapy the whole time this was going on, and my therapist never considered it a problem. I lost 40 pounds and was NOT overweight to begin with--as a 40-year-old, I weighed less than what I had at age 12. All he said was, yeah, you're losing weight and it's normal given what you're going through. Thanks. :(
 
Yay to the Boston Globe! It's about time! This case is such a great opportunity for parents to become more aware of this terrible problem, and the opportunity seems to have been largely wasted.

It's an important personal issue for me too. My Dad was in the fashion industry, and my parents were fashion plates and put a high value on looks. They never expected to have an overweight daughter, and they didn't like it. I honestly believe that they preferred dealing with my anorexia nervosa over having to have a fat daughter!

Even at my advanced age, I still can't believe how much impact the scale has on my emotional life. They just reset the scale at my gym and it turns out I'm 5 lbs. heavier than I thought I was. As horrified as I am to admit this, I am now cancelling and rescheduling my social activities because I have lost my confidence, whereas 2 weeks ago I looked the same and was going about my ordinary business feeling fine about myself. I kid you not. This stuff goes so deep, I am learning that it stays with you for life. :-( x(

I salute the Boston Globe for publishing this article.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top