OT - ? for working moms

K

kristi

Cathlete
My Monday - Friday normally goes like this:
6:30 - get up and ready for work
7:00 - get DS up and ready for daycare
7:15 - make lunch/snacks for the day
7:30 - leave house and take DS to daycare
8:00 - start work
5:00 - leave work and pick up DS
5:30 - arrive home and change into more comfortable clothes
5:40 - start making dinner while DS watches cartoons
6:00-6:15 - eat dinner with DH & DS
6:30 - play time with DS
7:30 - start getting DS ready for bed
8:00 - normally reading time w/DS
8:30 - DS bedtime & my exercise time

Does any other mom besides me feel like you don't get enough time with your child? I feel bad that I don't get to spend more time with my 2 year old, but I have to work because I carry the health & dental insurance for my family. DH work's insurance costs 3 times as much as mine and the coverage is considerable less than what I have with my work. I feel so guilty that I am neglecting him even though I cherish every moment with him at night before bedtime and we are always together on the weekend. If only there were more time in the day.
 
Same boat...same feelings. I have a 2.5 year old and a 10 month old and work full time. I feel like I am constantly in motion. I think it's great that you cherish every moment you can and give him oodles of unconditional love. That's more than a lot of children get.

I'm lucky that my daycare is close enough to my work that I can sneak over and share in their activities or stop in for lunch. I know what you mean about the go, go, go of everyday life...it gets overwhelming. I do my very best to live in the moment and make sure they know how much they are loved. Just a hug, an "I love you" or special time before bed will go a long way for both of you during the week.
 
Yep, me too. My son is 3. Here's my typical day:

5:00 get up, brush teeth, etc. go down stairs eat breakfast, clean up, etc.
5:30-6:00 elliptical/abs
6:00 get ready for work
6:30 get Gabe up, give him breakfast, get him ready for daycare
7:00, leave for work and drop him off at daycare
7:30-3:30 work
we get home around 4:00
4:00-4:30, just Gabe and me time, sit on the couch and watch tv or play
4:30 get dinner ready
5:30-6:30 exercise (Gabe usually is up in the bedroom with me, he sets his cars up on the dresser)
I get him ready for bed at 8:00 and then we read books

I just feel so rushed sometimes. Like I have to stick to a schedule or I just won't get things done. Notice in my routine there is not any time for cleaning/housework or just alone time with me and my husband. I really wish that I had more time with my son and my DH. Sometimes I feel so guilty when I do things for myself and tell my son that I'll do whatever he wants "later" because sometimes "later" never comes.

But the time that I do spend with Gabe is quality time. Like the saying goes Quality over quantity is better at least IMO.
 
Thank you Dana and Letswork for making me feel better and not alone.

Like you Dana, my alone time with DH is limited too as well as housework. DH gets pretty much whatever is leftover from my day. Almost all of my housework gets done on the weekend when I should have more time, the only exception is dishes which are done daily. Any errands, such as grocery shopping, are run on the weekend unless I can make a quick trip during my lunch hour. My schedule is very important to me and helps me keep my sanity. I do believe that quality is better than quantity too. I guess I have to with my schedule. LOL.
 
My schedule is just as hectic & wish it weren't. I can hardly fit in my workouts and my time with kids is rushed. Its always go go go! I wish I could be like the other moms at my kids school - freedom - staying at home with them....but economically that's just not the way it is in my family. I make the money at home and we just can't afford to have me not working.
 
Been there, done that. It was too much. I felt so guilty leaving my child at daycare. Once the second one came, I found that majority of my salary would go to daycare and it wasn't worth it. I was getting burnt out. I gave up a great paying job and benefits, but everyone is happier. I was lucky to find a professional PT job that works around dh's work schedule. My kids are happier and so is mom. I probably will get flamed by married, FT working moms, but our kids need us. We don't have brand new cars, we don't vacation every year, but sometimes sacraficing a few things is worth it. No disrespect to working moms intended.:)
 
Hi Kristi!

Yes-Yes-Yes-it's sooo hard!! I have DD's 12 and 3. I at times regret being a teacher because the pay is so-so, even though I truly love my job, my students, and think I'm pretty good at what I do (juggling 130 some teenagers a day with all their work, tests, attitudes, personal problems, etc.)

When school starts at least DD whose 12 and I pretty much have the exact same time schedule. DD whose 3 stays at a home day care 2 days a week and with grandmoms 3 days a week. YES I FEEL GUILTY!! But everyone seems pretty well adjusted. This girls have very special relationships with both grandmothers and I keep telling them that when they have kids this grandmom wants to watch their kids part time to if they so choose!!:)

I did hire a housekeeper every other weekend - AWESOME! Sometimes I feel that I should do this for myself, but I tell you what, every other weekend me and the girls go out and PLAY because we have time! It's wonderful and I consider this one of the things I do to pamper myself for working and not getting to be a full time house mom.
DH is great about the housekeeper (agreed I get grouchy when I have too much to do) and is always there to help when schedules get crazy.

We're all up at 6:00 sharp every day and in motion until 9:30 or 10:00. This is life for me now and I'm loving every minute of it even though it can get CRAZY. You seem to have everything on the ball and all scheduled. Keeping DS on a routine is typically comforting for little ones in that they know what to expect.

I'd say do anything for yourself/family that will ease up time constraints so that you can have more family time. DH and I strive for this even though sometimes, well its just crazy, we try out best.

Take care and I'm also envious of all you SAHM! My best friend is and it's a lot of work but she really enjoys it!

Sami
 
I agree with you all. I wish I was a SAHM and then I would have more "free time" to do all the little things I would like to do with DS, i.e. going to the park, being in a playgroup, story time at the library, zoo & aquarium trips. Unfortunately since my weekend is full of cleaning, grocery shopping, and running errands, all while DS is with me, then it cuts into my time and options for fun time. It used not to bother me so much when DS was in daycare, but as he is getting older I realize how much I am missing out. SAHMs work very hard, but I don't think they realize how many of us working moms truly envy them and would love to do the same. However, I guess the up side to be a working mom is that at least the 2-3 hours I have before DS goes to bed are very special to me and I know that I will make the most of that short period of time, whereas I might take that time for granted if I were at home on a continuous basis.
 
Hi
Being a SAHM is VERY hard. It's an all day thing non-stop 7 days a week. Do I regret being a SAHM, VERY rarely. Once in a while I wish I was working only because it'll help us pay the bills faster. Sure, we'd love a brand new car, new things but right now it is not important to me. My 2 yrs old and 5 months old need me more than anything. I would not miss out their first time of everything for the world. I love watching them walk for the first time, seeing something for the first time, saying a new word for the first time, learning how to do something for the first time. It only happens once and it's over. To me, that is more important than any stupid bills or anything else. Sometimes I want to hang myself at the end of the day from all the hassle but once I relax for about 10 min, I feel so much better. Kids grow up very fast which sucks but at the same time watching them growing up is amazing. I honestly don't think a lot of working moms need to work but if the husband doesn't make enough money or doesn't have good benefits, then I understand completely. Health insurance is so important for kids. I don't regret leaving my job for my children. I do hope to go back to it part time when my children start school full time unless I have more children. Also, I don't think I could ever leave my children in a day care. I don't feel right doing it. I feel what's the point of having kids if you're not there full time for them. That is me. I'm not flaming anyone so please don't even start some crap. I'm just telling how I feel about MYSELF. I can't even leave my babies for more than 5 hours.

Kristi, I understand it is HARD. Maybe you could forego cleaning house one weekend. Clean the house every other weekend? Just pick up things around the house so no one trips over them and wash dishes but everything else, just blow it for the weekend. At least your son has you for the weekend. DH is another story. :) I don't know what to tell you about that. I think my DH is around too much. Just kidding. :)
 
Sending some sympathy your way! I totally understand!

I have been very fortunate to only have to work 3 days per week. I don't have the worry about the health insurance (Canadian) which I'm sure is very stressful. Things are definitely tighter without me working fulltime (eg. only one car, small house) but I agree with you when I tried full time I felt so guilty all the time.

Good Luck! Kim
 
You sound like great Moms. My daughter just went off to college this fall --- we are sooo close... It was so gut-wrenching. She even said it would be so much easier if we weren't so close.

I was a single mom so always worked (once we split up) but weekends were totally for the kids. Little time to date but my kids were #1 and I really does make a difference. So my house isn't spotless and my cooking isn't great but my kids are loved and we have so many memories of happpy times together.

If you can at all do it working part time go for it. It's true a lot of times we think we can't live on less but can.

You SAHMs sound awesome and TOTALLY you have the hardest job there is... personally I think much harder than working moms!

Being a single Mom I didn't have to do the time for DH so I didn't have that to juggle. I know alot of folks can't believe I really like being a single mom and the kids like our family "just the way it is".

Sounds like you are all making your kids #1 that's great :)
 
kristi, any chance you can have an alternate schedule, like 4 10 hour days..i do 3 12 hour days, but i am a nurse......also..do you have to work 40 to get the health insurance? for example, where i work, over 20 hours, you can get benefits but the cost is higher and any hours over 32 is the full time cheaper rate! just a thought. i love my set up , i work mon, wed and fri, so i have every other day and weekends with my son.also, since you are pulling fulltime hours, is a cleaning lady possible?
 
Thanks everyone for your wonderful advice and encouragement. Unfortunately I am in a position that I have to be in the office Monday thru Friday from 8 until 5. I've been an admin assistant for an advertising agency for a little over 7 years now. When my office manager retires in about 3-5 years I will be promoted to her job and I could have more flexibility, but until then I don't have much. Working less hours but still keeping the insurance would be great, but I don't see it happening. My company would get rid of me instead of letting me work less hours.

A cleaning lady sounds like a great idea. For the most part my house does not get that dirty, but a cleaning lady would really give me some free time even if the only thing she ever does is clean my bathrooms and sweep and mop my kitchen floor. I'm really liking the sound of that. I'll check around and get some prices. Thanks for the advice!
 
I wish I could be a SAHM - but its not in the cards! I wish every day but I'm the bread winner and right now my DH is looking for work. So even if I wanted to be I can't - we need my salary. Until my DH gets a good paying job - I'm it! Its a lot of pressure - but I guess I have to deal with it!
 
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