Off topic: What would you do?

M

mom23dolls

Cathlete
I have a co-worker whom I know has a heart of gold. She is a good woman who would do anything to help someone out, and we are very close. Lately, though, she has fallen into a habit of being completely self-absorbed and it is being noticed and talked about all over the office, including by her supervisors. Every conversation, even work-related, revolves around her and so people call her "MeMe." What she does if someone offers an opinion or says anything that doesn't pertain to her is to make a loud, dramatic sigh, suck her teeth and say O K and then change the subject immediately back to her. As I said, she is my friend and I think she would be appalled and I KNOW it has affected her professionally. I would want to know, but what do all of you on-the-ball folks think would be a good way to handle this?

Carole
 
If you tried to tell her this she'd be completely offended and probably wouldn't believe you. If it really started getting on my nerves, I'd probably stop talking to her for a while. You could kind of mention it in a not so direct way. For example: "It really annoys me when people interrupt me and talk about themselves all the time. Doesn't that bother you too?"
 
I think Dani's on the right track. Criticism should always come in the form of flattery. ;-)

If it were me, I would say something like "you know, your job is so important, I just don't know how you do it. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to deal with the public & my own problems overwhelm me." Hopefully at this point she'll give you an opening......"sometimes my personal problems overwhelm me too, yadda yadda yadda" & you'll have the chance to approach the subject w/o seeming like you're criticising her.

Otherwise you will have to let it go & hope that her supervisor sees it & does something about it.

I did something pretty bad......remember that drunk I was dealing w/here? I had no idea how to deal w/it so one day when she was clearly stinking drunk I had my neighbor call & complain. It was the only way I could get my boss to do something about it. I feel bad but I also feel like I have an obligation to my employer to make sure 1) we put our best face forward & 2) we don't get sued b/c she has an accident on her way to/from work while under the influence.
 
If you are "very close," then I would tell her. Make sure it is not at work and that there is plenty of time for the two of you to talk about it (just in case she doesn't take it well and you need to discuss). If you do it at lunch or on the weekend, she'll be less likely to be threatened.

I had a tough call to make about a friend (that I considered a close friend) recently and I really was torn. It was a very touchy subject and I knew that in some cases, it could kill the friendship. I decided to just talk to her and be careful to say that I was only saying what I was saying b/c of how much I love her friendship and don't want to lose that. In the end, she thanked me for it and it really showed me that she was a close friend!

Good luck!
Christine
 
If she wasn't like this before, why do you think she's like this now? Something must have happened in her life for a dramatic personality change. If you are her friend, maybe you know. I would bet that's the root of the problem and maybe you could take it from there. I mean, people don't get self absorbed overnight for nothing, do they?

I think Dani's suggestion is the safest way to go but just remember, when you start getting involved in people's lives it can turn around on you so just be very careful. It's a risky situation and you don't kow if anything YOU do will change things. :)
 
If she wasn't like this before, why do you think she's like this now? Something must have happened in her life for a dramatic personality change. If you are her friend, maybe you know. I would bet that's the root of the problem and maybe you could take it from there. I mean, people don't get self absorbed overnight for nothing, do they?


I don't know for sure, but I think it's because she's become comfortable here now and has trouble separating the personal from the professional. I wouldn't even think of saying something to her except that it was said in front of me today (not confidentially) that she didn't get an important assignment she was hoping for because she is so difficult to deal with. To be completely honest, she IS very unpleasant to be around lately and it strikes me as a bad habit she has developed, rather than something more serious. I could be wrong about that, though.
Carole
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top