Normalcy...is that even a word?

FourAM

FourAM

Cathlete
And is that too much to ask for.? I have a lot of great things in my life that alot of people do not have. I have a great husband and we work together and we get along. We have our fights now and then but I think they are healthy ones like when he hangs his shirt up he can never put it on the hanger right he just drapes it over the bottom, you know little things. We do not have major problems. We do not have a lot of debt because both of our families were irresponsble with money and we did not want those worries. We do really have a blessed life in a lot of ways, alot to be greatful for.

But then there are those things that are just so horrible that they seem to overshadow all of the good things! This last year has been such a struglle with my family and now his mom is getting a divorce from her third husband and probably will want to move in with us and it will not be a good situation. I love her dearly but from a distance if you know what I mean. And he feels the same way.
There are so many layers to this story if I could type faster or thought that anyone would be interested in a five page thread I would write it all down just to tell someone...or hundreds of someones but it is soo complicated it would be hard to explain. It just feels like I have been crying for a year and I am exhausted and I feel like I should have nothing to complain about but there are all these outside forces that interfere with what should be a really great life.

Sorry for the rant but I needed to vent even if it does seem very random.:confused:

Rachel
 
Hi there, even if the core of your life is great, bad things happen, and you have the right to be upset about them. You seem to feel guilty over being upset, and you should not be.

Is your mother's potential decision to move in purely financial or because she just wants to live with someone? I've always worried about this possibly happening, but I'll pay her mortgage before I let that happen.
 
I'm with Dela. Do not let your mother-in-law move in. You're already stressing over something that hasn't even been discussed! Talk to your husband NOW. The two of you need to stand firm - TOGETHER. You already suspect your marriage can't take it so don't.
 
I agree...no vacancy for Mother In Law. Probably there are relationships out there that are amazing, but in my world after one week, I don't care who's ma you are...time to leave.
 
Well here we go

Could disfunctional get anymore disfunctional.
The reason I was on venting in the first place is because my MIL and FIL were fighting. What spurred the argument is the complicated part.
See last year my sister had a baby. She and her husband could not take care of him because they are not mentally capable. She stayed at our house after the birth for what we thought would be a temporary arrangement for her to learn the things she needed. It did not take us long to realize she was never going to be capable of taking care of this beautiful normal little boy. At this point in time my husbands' family was not involved but I did vent to them because I had no one else. My parents were too lazy and blind to see what was right in front of their face.
The situation could not stay as it was. We would not allow her husband to stay because the stress of just her and the new baby was already enough. My husband was great through all of this. He even got the baby roomready with only hours notice that they were going to come to stay at our house.
So in the end my sister went to live with her inlaws so they could be together and they could have the help of her husbands family.
Well because of my sisters unbearable attitude and her unwillingness to listen or learn or even be considerate of other peoples feeling they were sent back to their house but had to leave the baby ...CPS is involved.

Now I am trying to shorten one year of hell so I will skip to my inlaws. My husband and I were getting the baby as often as we could most every weekend but my sister and family wre making our lives a living hell saying we were trying to steal him (so much more to this story but I am skipping fastidiously ahead)...In the process of us getting him my inlaws became very close to him ( not to mention that my sister told my MIL that she could kind of be a "god grand mother" which thrilled her to no end because we have no children). So because of the proximity to my parents and where we lived we stopped getting him on the weekends and my inlaws just kind of took up where we left off...Trying to fast forward.

I know this is confusing. Well the other grand parents that have partial custody of him have told me to tell my other siblings anytime they want to get him just call. SO my sister that lives in Misouri was coming in for the holidays and is getting together with my family at the siters house and wanted the baby to be involved. When she called to ask she said no...Fast forward ...There had never been a problem with him being at our house so Tomorrow my oldest sister from misouri was going to come to my house first before she went to the family thing and wanted to see Steven and I called my inlaws and asked them if we could borrow him for an hr or so and MIL said ok...FIL had a problem with it. fast forward They getinto a huge argument and then a couple hours later we are calling the ambulance because we think MIL has alcohol poisoning. She used to be aheavy drinker and a bad alcoholic and to our knowledge had not drank in at least 3 or 4 years and now she was babbling incoherently and we could not figure out what was wrong with her.

So I am sorry but you said rant on so I am. Because right now at 12:30 in the morning while my nephew in sleeping in my MIL bed whom he adores she is in the hospital possibly getting her stomach pumped and my husband is there worried sick and I am here confused about why and how life is so complicated and confusing. And wishing for a good psychiatrist:eek:

Thanks for listening
Rachel
 
I bet there are a hundred people on here who can relate!
We always have a picture of what Family is suppossed to be, and very rarely do we ever really have that picture. I am the youngest of 4 girls and I could go on and on about "their problems" which have become mine!!!!

Your situation is so hard with a little one involved. I am sending hugs your way. I hope you can get some peace of mind knowing that you are not alone
And talk to DH and do what is best for both of you

ellie
 
Thank you to everyone.
It is very comforting to know that I am not alone.
My husband is my best friend and I hate to see him hurting. But I am glad to report that MIL is fine and sincerely remorseful. I did not sugar coat anything today because I knew she needed to hear the truth as it happened and not half truths leaving out the parts that might embarrass her so I layed it all out.
Rachel
 
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