Need strategy for getting my daughter to agree

dss62467

dss62467

Cathlete
I mentioned in another post that I want to make my extra bedroom into a pet room. The room is currently used as a storage space for my daughter's toys. It was originally a "play room", but she never plays in it and has just turned into a big closet for old toys.

I want to talk to her about converting it, and she literally never uses it for playing, but she likes the idea that it's hers. If I tell her I want to change it, she'll put up a fight. I think I need to make it seem like her idea...but...how?
 
why not compromise? I can't imagine that the entire room would be needed for either... dogs or toys... so why not suggest that you guys go through her toys and donate them to a childrens charity or something... Let her pick but give her a goal of something like 1 for 1... for every one you keep, you have to give one to charity! then you will have room to put your pet beds and she will still have some toys so DD doesn't feel like her entire stash is being taken away or moved :)

just a suggestion (this from someone who has no children ;) withOUT fur anyway)
 
She's 8. And yeah, you'd THINK the room would be big enough, but it's a very small room. There's definitely a lot of stuff that she doesn't use anymore. But getting her to agree she doesn't use it anymore is also another challenge. She's a pack rat like her dad. She wouldn't even let me leave her teeth for the Tooth Fairy, so we've still got them. Yuck
 
dss62467 said:
She's 8. And yeah, you'd THINK the room would be big enough, but it's a very small room. There's definitely a lot of stuff that she doesn't use anymore. But getting her to agree she doesn't use it anymore is also another challenge. She's a pack rat like her dad. She wouldn't even let me leave her teeth for the Tooth Fairy, so we've still got them. Yuck
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I think now would be a great time to teach her you can't have it all ;).
 
Is there a way to put shelves along the walls to put her toys on? Then the floor area could be for the animals? It could still be "her" room. Maybe giving her ownership of putting together the play area would make her more likely to go along with it.
 
SirenSongWoman said:
I think now would be a great time to teach her you can't have it all ;).
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Also, a good time to teach her generosity and kindness of spirit by having her donate her unused toys to those who are less fortunate.
Instead of emphasizing what she'll be losing (her unused toys), emphasize what she'll be gaining by helping others.

You could also watch FitTV's show where an expert goes in and has people clear out stuff they don't need (I think it's called "Neat"). Some of the shows deal with families that can't get rid of sentimental stuff, like kids toys from years ago.

Also, would it help her if she had a big hand in the preparation of the pet room?
 
dss62467 said:
I mentioned in another post that I want to make my extra bedroom into a pet room. The room is currently used as a storage space for my daughter's toys. It was originally a "play room", but she never plays in it and has just turned into a big closet for old toys.

I want to talk to her about converting it, and she literally never uses it for playing, but she likes the idea that it's hers. If I tell her I want to change it, she'll put up a fight. I think I need to make it seem like her idea...but...how?
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I'm kind of old school. Explain all the reasons why you want things to change, and that it will happen on X day. Then do it, without apologizing, without reacting if she "puts up a fight".

I don't think it's your job to make her like the idea. She has to get used to things she doesn't like, and this might be one of them. Just do what you want to your house, love her like always, and she'll adjust.:)
 
rickrach said:
I'm kind of old school. Explain all the reasons why you want things to change, and that it will happen on X day. Then do it, without apologizing, without reacting if she "puts up a fight".

I don't think it's your job to make her like the idea. She has to get used to things she doesn't like, and this might be one of them. Just do what you want to your house, love her like always, and she'll adjust.:)
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I agree!! I am also a big advocate of giving choices -- but all choices are based on the decision that YOU as the PARENT have made -- the room will be converted to a pet room.

Tell her that you will be re-doing the room, and tell her that you will be going thru her old toys and donating some to charity and organizing the rest. Ask if she would like to help you with this. You could also ask if she would like to go with you to the pet store to buy some supplies for the project. Give her the option to help, but make sure she understands that it will happen either way!
 
So she and I went out and got supplies to turn her crib mattress into a killer dog bed yesterday. This thing is SO comfortable! I got a padded mattress cover and put a couple funky old bed pillows between the mattress and the cover, then wrapped it in a huge piece of fleece fabric we picked out. It's laying on the living room floor now....and the dogs...well, they're laying on the couch with me. Ha! They do like it, though, they were laying on it yesterday.

We're going to start cleaning the room today and next week start prepping it for painting It has ugly old wood panelling that needs to be smoothed out. I'm not pulling it down, I'm sure that would open up a whole can of worms.

I've decided Duke can sleep wherever he wants. He's old and has had his choice of where to sleep for 12 years. No fair to change the rules now.
 
rickrach said:
I'm kind of old school. Explain all the reasons why you want things to change, and that it will happen on X day. Then do it, without apologizing, without reacting if she "puts up a fight".

I don't think it's your job to make her like the idea. She has to get used to things she doesn't like, and this might be one of them. Just do what you want to your house, love her like always, and she'll adjust.:)
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This post I agree with completely. If this were me, this is the way I see it: it's my house, I'm the parent, you're the kid, the room is no longer used as a play room, you have outgrown it, I need the space, this is what we are doing with it now. Want to help me pick out some new paint to redecorate? End of discussion.

We are not put here to pander to our kids 24/7. You don't need to treat her with kid gloves on this issue. You are the parent. You pay the rent/mortgage. Do what you need to do. I guarantee that within a week it will no longer be an issue. She'll have forgotten it.

Clare
 
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