My boyfriend smacked my kitten

Jasmin416

Jasmin416

Cathlete
I got so upset last night that my boyfriend smacked my kitten. She's like 6 months now and I'm trying to break her of the habit of jumping up on people with bare skin. I know how painful it can be. We she did it to him while he was dressing and dug her claws into his skin...he turned and smacked her. Of course she seemed unfazed by this after a minute but still. I told him not to make a habit of disciplining her this way. He feels animals need this kind of discipline sometimes.

1.I'm still upset with him for smacking her, am I making too much of this?

2. How can I break her of this habit?
 
I'm pulling no punches here.

#1. Ditch the dumbass boyfriend while he's still just a boyfirend.

YOU DON'T SMACK A KITTEN FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

I wonder what kind of discipline he thinks kids need?

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
 
I am not for hitting animals at all. That said, I have a kitten (the avatar!) who sometimes climbs my legs, especially when I have my PJs on the drawstrings around my waist are dangling. OUCH! Sometimes, people just react. I get him off of me and sort of just drop him down, and tell him NO. I am training him with a blow in the face along with the word loudly said - NO. He is now learning what NO means without the blow in the face. We also use a water bottle but he hates the blow in the face; the water, not so much! A friend of mine swatted one of my cats. I got so mad. I found out that he just didn't know better. That is what they did in his family. They don't hurt them, just give them a little swat. So, I guess it depends on how hard he did it, and judging from what you wrote, not that hard. What the kitten did was bound to have hurt your boyfriend more than he hurt the kitten. Talk to him about it and tell him that it bothers you to have the kitten get hit, and then work together to come up with something that the kitten really hates that you can both do to break him of this habit. Taz (my kitten) knows he will get a blow in the face - and I mean, gale force winds, not just some little puff - and then I say NO! and sometimes blow again. It is convenient b/c I don't have to carry anything around like a squirt water bottle. As long as he isn't abusing the kitten, and it doesn't sound like he is, then I would just tell him it upset you and that you want to find another alternative.
 
Ok, I have to opinions:

1.) This seems like a reflex action on your boyfriend's part. If something with really sharp claws all of a sudden jumped on me I'd probably try to swat it away too. Maybe he didn't mean to hit your cat as hard as he did (I mean a grown man is a heck of a lot stronger than a little kittten...)

2.) You mentioned that he feels animals should be disciplined that way most times. With me, if you abuse an animal I'll throw you out the damn window. So maybe he did mean to hit your kitten that hard....

Hmmmm.

Just thought I'd look at this from two different perspectives....
 
Well, I typed too long and there are all of these replies. They seem to be leaning towards a real smack. Anybody who can't control their temper does have problems, and since you wrote that it took a minute for the cat to recover (I read too quickly and didn't catch that the first time), maybe it was a real smack. I have no patience for that. It would be like smacking a baby for swinging a rattle, playing and having a time, and hitting you in the face. They don't know they are hurting you.
 
Ok, kind of off the topic, but are those soft paws things real?? From what I understand they are just little plastic "caps" for the claws?? They are so funny looking, like nail polish!! Has anyone used these? Do they work? I just can't imagine my cat letting me put these on him!!!
 
I was going to say that maybe it was an initial reaction to being clawed, but if he smacked the little thing so hard that it stunned him (kitty), and then didn't even feel bad about it because he thinks animals should be disciplined that way, then your biggest problem isn't how to break the kitten's habit...it's how to get rid of someone who sounds just plain mean.

How long have you been together? Has he done anything like this before?
 
crazystepr said:
Ok, I have to opinions:

1.) This seems like a reflex action on your boyfriend's part. If something with really sharp claws all of a sudden jumped on me I'd probably try to swat it away too. Maybe he didn't mean to hit your cat as hard as he did (I mean a grown man is a heck of a lot stronger than a little kittten...)

2.) You mentioned that he feels animals should be disciplined that way most times. With me, if you abuse an animal I'll throw you out the damn window. So maybe he did mean to hit your kitten that hard....

Hmmmm.

Just thought I'd look at this from two different perspectives....
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I was thinking the exact same thing! If it was truly a reflex reaction, I would maybe more understanding. HOWEVER...he followed up with the comment that animals should be disciplined this way AND that is unacceptable! No animal should be disciplined by smacking it around!!

JJ
 
I understand you being upset. No one messes with my fur babies!

But, as far as tarring your boyfriend with any type of abuser label, I think you need to put the incident in perspective with all your other interactions together. Most of us would react in a mild physical manner when suddenly assaulted by needleclaws (once upon a time there was an intimate moment interrupted by an unprovoked kitten attack on my hubby in a very delicate region by a kitten, and the kitty did get moved quite rapidly and a bit roughly) I, of course, went to the kitten and left hubby to tend himself! That was 20 years, 5 kids, and countless pets ago and I can honestly say he has never made any move toward any of us that I would consider abusive or aggressive.

I do agree with one of the previous posts that you do need to discuss his mindset regarding physical discipline. You can use this as a chance to get to know eachother more closely and discover how much you agree or differ on this very important topic!

Good luck!

Becky
 
I'm purposefully not getting into the smack discussion, but addressing your other question.

We just trim their claws. I tell them the first one to draw blood, we cut. :) That's how I know it's time!

If the cat is used to you playing with her paws, go for the trimming. Ours are indoor cats and we've played with their paws as long as we've known them. They're okay with the trimming now. I don't have time to find a link now, but I use nail clippers and it usually takes only a few minutes, depending on how feisty the babes are that day! :) HTH
 
I've had several cats in my life and experienced the kind of "kitty attack" described by the OP and worse, and I can honestly say that the reflex reaction never...ever...involved anything that could be construed as a "smack".

And for the guy to say "animals need this kind of discipline"...I stand firmly behind my initial assessment...he's a dumbass...make that a mean dumbass.
 
We did talk about this last night and maybe need to discuss this again. He does think that animals need discipline and sometimes need to be smacked. My kitten ran away but then within a minute came back for play time so she seemed unfazed by the whole thing. I think it upset me more than her.

My boyfriend also did say that sometimes children need to be scolded for really bad behavior and he's not against that so he would probably smack our children as well which REALLY concerns me. I did get so upset over the same thing with my kitten that once I smacked her as a reflex action but I felt bad about it afterwards.
 
Jasmin416 said:
My boyfriend also did say that sometimes children need to be scolded for really bad behavior and he's not against that so he would probably smack our children as well which REALLY concerns me.
Click to expand...

RED FLAG!!! I'd seriously reconsider this relationship.

JJ
 
Jasmin416 said:
He does think that animals need discipline and sometimes need to be smacked.
Click to expand...

I think Michael Vick had similar training techniques.

Jasmin - The fact that this guy thinks physical violence is the path to get desired behaviors out of animals or kids should be a HUGE red flag.

Your heart is in the right place, don't minimize how you feel about this situation. If it doesn't feel right to you, it's because it isn't.
 
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