May I have your opinion on this?

L

lisaannjam

Cathlete
Hi Ladies!

I really respect all of you so I'd really like your opinion on this if you don't mind. I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive or not. I've been a personal trainer for three years now and an aerobics instructor for over ten. I also do Cathe at least four times per week and feel like I'm in good shape (always striving to get more cut, you know how that goes).

I visited my younger Sister this weekend in Cape May and she introduced me to her best friend while I was there. Today my Sis told me that her best friend said that I "wasn't what she expected to see when she met me". She told my Sis that I was "so solid" and she expected me to be a size 0 waif because I was an instructor. Should I be insulted by the term "solid"? I was kind of offended as by the way it was put. I'm proud of my muscles. What the heck kind of trainer would I or anyone for that matter be if I was an anorexic waif? How would I have the energy to train people?

Thanks for listening. P.S. This "friend of my Sis's is very over weight. Am I taking it the wrong way? Solid???

P.S. All of her "guy" friends had nothing but complimentary things to say to me. I guess I just felt like the hulk when she told me that.

Thanks Ladies.
 
I know how you feel. I have been called a big girl and I am a size 6, but pretty solid as well. I think that some people assume you will be skinny as a rail since you work out alot and are a personal trainer/aerobic instructor. I am also a personal trainer and taught aerobics for years and it is funny the comments people make about you and what they perceive us to look like. They either expect you to be skinny or like the hulk-when we are also just average people. I wouldn't take being called solid a bad thing. I would much rather be solid than skinny. There are also some women that think women don't look good with muscles. I personally love having muscles and looking fit. The girl who is overweight also was probably jealous of your physique. Anwyay, as long as you love the way you look, just ignore everyone elses comments. But, I know how sensitive we all are about what other people say expecially being in the fitness profession.

Susan
 
You know,its hard,but I am finally learning to careless about what people think of me. Sometimes people will say to me "you run?" As of to say, "but your not rail thin? How can you be a runner? You don't have a runners body". But these are people who don't even understand fitness b/c if they did, then they would realize that fitness comes in all sizes.
Don't take this as a made thing.Find the positive in it. She may have meant no harm by it and if she did, then everyone else is right...she is jealous. And if she is overweight then she is diffently jealous.
One of my biggest pet peeves are people who shun us for working out. When exercise is mentioned, noses go all screwed up and sometimes I feel as if I am doing something wrong b/c I am taking care of my body the best I can.Meanwhile, these types of people are just mad at themselves b/c they don't have the discipline to do what we do. I know, I have friends like them....Ive went on a rampage.
Don't let her get to you, you look great!
Lori:)
 
Hi There,

Jelousy is a very negative emotion, it sounds as if your sister's friend is insecure and feels bad about herself so she tries to make other people feel bad as well. I am not a trainer but I love weight lifting and somepeople think I look good and some tell me that I look too strong for a women, whatever that means, lol. Everyone has the right to think what they want, but you have the rignt not to care or be ofended because, that is what want, don't fall for it. The only person you need to please is you! As long as you are happy with who you are, who cares about what others think! Muscles are beautiful!
 
I know it's so hard not to take it to heart, but it's best just to let it go. People do say so many "stupid things." Really educated people know real fitness is not a size and comes in many shapes. You should be proud of your hard earned muscles!:)

Robin
 
Huh. I don't think it would occur to me to think "solid" was negative. I obviously didn't hear the tone, but to me, "solid" means that you look like you work out, and work out hard! I'd think of Cathe as solid.

Maybe it's because I work out and can appreciate how much effort that takes!!
 
I think you're taking it the wrong way. I think that being called "solid" was complimentary - in that you were really toned. And I don't think that being called a "waif" would be a compliment. Do you think your sister would have told you if she thought her friend was being insulting?
 
Ladies...great ladies, thank you for taking the time to answer my post. I'm getting all emotional here..haha. I think what really bothered me was not so much the solid thing..but that I wasn't what she expected. You Ladies are right...who care what she expected, right? These are people that do not exercise the way that we do. I really am happy with myself and I normally don't care what other people think. It is true people have their own expectations of what "fitness" people should look like. And Lori...I hear you about the "runner's body thing".

The girl who made the comment isn't in to fitness, health or eating right at all. Of course, I had no expectations when I met her. I had no preconceived notions or judgements. I'm not like that.

Thank you all so much!!! I shouldn't look at it negatively. Solid is good. I think it was the expectation thing and the tone that my Sister conveyed.

My Sis told her friend I lift a lot of weights and that's why I'm solid. It sounded like my little Sister was defending me but didn't want to tell me that in case my feelings got hurt.

You are all simply the best. Thanks!!! It's so nice to have one another.
 
Susan...thank you!!!!! You put it so eloquently...we are people afterall. It's like when someone looks at a Supermodel and says...oh she's not that beautiful. It really is more about them than us. I'm just so used to being around people that respect the same things that we do.
 
You're right, Cathe is solid!!! Now, I'm no Cathe, but thanks for the perspective. See, I was wondering if I was taking it the wrong way. Thanks!!
 
> You know,its hard,but I am finally learning to careless
>about what people think of me. Sometimes people will say to me
>"you run?" As of to say, "but your not rail thin? How can you
>be a runner? You don't have a runners body". But these are
>people who don't even understand fitness b/c if they did, then
>they would realize that fitness comes in all sizes.
> Don't take this as a made thing.Find the positive in it. She
>may have meant no harm by it and if she did, then everyone
>else is right...she is jealous. And if she is overweight then
>she is diffently jealous.
> One of my biggest pet peeves are people who shun us for
>working out. When exercise is mentioned, noses go all screwed
>up and sometimes I feel as if I am doing something wrong b/c I
>am taking care of my body the best I can.Meanwhile, these
>types of people are just mad at themselves b/c they don't have
>the discipline to do what we do. I know, I have friends like
>them....Ive went on a rampage.
> Don't let her get to you, you look great!
> Lori:)

Lori...you are so young yet so wise!! Thank you!
 
For some reason people who do not work out feel the need to critque what you eat and how you look. It can be hurtful. When you think about what theses celebrities look like when they are not promoting is scarey. I also read that the lead actress from "Every body loves Raymond" did 4 clonics to lose enough weight to be red carpet reebe ready. That is rediculous. People like Gwen Stefani have said they feel starved because they have to look a certain way. We are people and we all look different and I think maybe these ideas of the normal fit celeb is so small makes people think "oh you are not as small as the." Which is silly long story short you could be a 8 and in Hollywood you would still be chunky. Solid does not jiggle and takes work. We love ya.
 
Solid is good. It means the results of your hard work are showing. Pure muscle. Good for you! No hulks in sight!

Clare
 
I think "solid" is great. It means nothing's blowing in the wind or flopping around. Take it as an absolute compliment!!!:)
 
As a fellow group fitness instructor, Cathe-ite and weightlifter who's packed on about 10 pounds of muscle in the past 5 years, I have to echo everyone else's comments here. "Solid" is good. She may have meant it as a dig, but as another poster said, that says more about her than about you.

You can't stop stupid people from saying stupid things, but you can put it in context - especially by your smart friends here on the Cathe Forums, who have their values AND their lifestyles right.

A-Jock
 
Thank you Ladies!!! You are so right and you know I am educated enough to realize that people who are not into fitness do not understand what fitness looks like on "normal" people. I'm a size 4 for goodness sakes and by Hollywood standards that's bordering on a little chubby.

And again, you're so right...they do feel the need to critique us, which is so ironic when they aren't doing a damn thing for themselves.

Solid is good!!! I feel so loved...thanks. And I love you all too!!! That's why I love it here.:)
 
I wouldn't be offended but proud, solid usually means good strong muscle. The women's expectation were way off. Why do you need to be super skinny to be an instructor? Why not have some muscle? And it sounds more like the girl was jealous, as you had a lean cut body, that wasn't from starving yourself, or working yourself into the ground.

As a Personal Trainer I’ve notice friends of friends always have very weird expectation of me, then they meet me, and are shocked. Some think I should have a barbell glued to my hand and I never stop lifting not even to visit friends and go out. Others can’t seem to comprehend that I have muscle but for some reason didn’t get any taller from working out. (Don’t ask I have yet to figure that one out, apparently working out makes you taller, in their eyes.) The list goes one on, but being solid isn’t bad, it just means you got some well packed muscle and probably could knock the lady who said that on her glutes.

Kit
 
I agree with Donna, I think she was complimenting you. Solid probably just meant muscular which most people think is beautiful.
 
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