How did you know when it was time for euthanasia for yo...

S

Shelbygirl

Cathlete
Hello Everyone.

I was hoping to hear about your experiences regarding when you knew it was time to have your beloved pet put to sleep. I've got a 15 year old cat in the final stages of kidney failure, but I'm having a really hard time letting him go. He's at the point where the fluid treatments and appetite pills are no longer helping. He's down to nine pounds (from 13 last December and 11 this past July) and he pretty much only eats two or three days out of seven (and I'm talking not a single kurnel of food on the bad days). He still seems peaceful, happy and content, however, which is why I'm struggling with this.

I'd like to just take it day be day and see how he's doing, but the problem is, my husband is out of town all next week and absolutely wants to be there for our kittie when he is finally put to sleep. Our worry is that if things deteriorate a lot next week, he might start to really suffer while we wait for my husband to get back. We've got an appointment scheduled this Saturday for euthanasia, but I am tempted to cancel it.

Any thoughts?
Thanks so much.
Shelbygirl
 
Big ((((HUGS)))) to you. This is such a difficult thing - I have been there myself. Everyone always says "Well, how is the animal's quality of life?" but since our pets can't talk to us, we don't really know for sure, do we? When my kitty was in the later stages of lung cancer, we knew it was time because she had stopped eating and had withdrawn from everyone. She wasn't herself anymore. It was incredibly difficult, but we knew it was the right thing.

I know this is not an easy decision, and I can't tell you when the right time is. Go with your heart and do whatever reduces your kitty's suffering the most. It doesn't sound like he's suffering much now, but cats have a tendency to not show they are feeling ill until it's too late. The fact that he hardly eats is very telling. You may be able to improve his appetite by offering him canned food, baby food, or canned tuna. Moist foods tend to stimulate the appetite more. If he turns his nose up at even tuna, then maybe it's time... but again, you are the one who must ultimately decide.

More ((((hugs)))) to you. My thoughts are with you and your kitty.
 
Someone once told me that when it's time, you'll know, and I found that to be very true. Go with your heart. If he's not in pain and seems happy, then why put him down?
 
RE: How did you know when it was time for euthanasia fo...

Shelbygirl,

I think you wrote my story. Our siamese is in the same boat. It is a struggle to get him to eat also.

We put our elderly Chow Chow down in May and it was the hardest decision I have ever made. I made the decision based on the quality of her life. She was unable to go outside unassisted, she was having accidents all over, she was extremely scared and confused, she was having difficulty sleeping, she was losing weight...the list goes on and on. I finally decided that it was time when she tried to bite me one Saturday. During her life she NEVER tried to bite me and I knew that the pain was unbearable for her.

The decision to put my siamese, Frank, down will be a difficult one when the time comes, because like you have said he acts like he is happy. It is such a personal decision, that I don't want to sway you either way. I just want you to know that know matter what, you will make the right decision if you follow your heart and gut and you have given your friend a very good life and shouldn't blame yourself.

If you need anything, please PM me. Again, I feel the same right now and it is an awful feeling; you are not alone. :)
 
So sorry to hear you are having to deal with this. It is never easy. We love our pets so much that we want to know for sure that we are doing the right thing. Watch him carefully and you will see signs of discomfort, pain, or confusion. Alot of times, you can see it in their eyes when they are needing the most help. With our dog we knew by her eyes. But when our cat was going through kidney failure, she actually passed away on her own. She was already at the vet trying to bring fluid levels back up so we did not see how she was acting as it got close to the end. We weren't able to be with her at end so we picked up her and took her to the pet cemetry that we use so we would know she was in a good place.

Hugs to you on your decision.

Jean
 
I think the time has come. The best thing you can now do for your cat is put him to sleep and get a grip on your feelings. Your feelings are a different issue from what your cat needs, and they are clouding your judgement. His failure to eat very much any more is the telling detail. You have to think of your cat, and his deterioriating health, not how you will miss him. You can grieve later. Right now, you have to be realistic, you have to be strong, for your cat's sake. Do you really want him to be in total misery and possibly excrutiating pain before you release him?

You have tried medicine. You have done for him what you can. Now it is time to let him go.

Clare
 
Our dog died of old age and kidney failure. It was so hard, hugs to you. We knew when he had trouble going to the bathroom and was wetting all over himself. He just looked at us and we knew. Geez, I am getting teary-eyed just writing this. Just do not let him suffer of course, my DH could not deal with it, and I had to take Ralphie to the vet by myself, it really was hard.
 
> He still seems peaceful,
>happy and content, however, which is why I'm struggling with
>this.

Shelby, If this is the case, I'd give him more time. At the end of their lives, cats can lose their appetite and get really skinny, but still be willing and able to go on (people, too, if left to nature). He sounds like he's having ups and downs in appetite, which is also very normal. (I've had cats who wouldn't eat,then after I'd talk sweet to them and urge them to eat, they would). If he stops eating altogether (especially if 'the look'is there, and/or he withdraws), then things will have changed and it will be time.

You should continue with fluids, though, as part of the reason for lack of appetite is the bad taste these cats get from toxins not being eliminated through the kidneys.

I find that there is a certain look in the eyes of a cat who is ready to go: a distant, foggy, glassy look (that usually comes about because of pain). Also, if your cat doesn't purr when he used to in the past (though purring can be a sign of pain--the cat trying to comfort her/himself---so you have to make sure that the purring is in response to the petting.)

Also, if your cat withdraws and hides in a corner, etc, then the time has definitely come.

Not to be unsympathetic when it comes to your husband, but I wouldn't rush euthanasia just to have it come at a convenient time. It will be time when it is time. If I were you, and kitty needs your help going on when your hubby's out of town, I'd call hubby and let him say good-bye. Do what is best for your cat.

Unfortunately, cats with kidney failure rarely die on their own (I've had two so far), and we are the ones to determine when it's time.
 
Hi Shelbygirl,

This brought tears to my eyes because I know how hard this is for you. I rescue cats and take care of 30 or so every day and I've had to put 7 down over the years for Aids/Leukemia or severely poor health coupled with complications (pneumonia).

I also feel for you because my older sister went through the same thing you're dealing with in 2003. Her 18 year old cat that she'd had from a kitten started just withering away...but what I found remarkable is that he always looked so clear in his expression - eyes all bright. They did every thing they could to prolong his life - even when he stopped eating hard food, they pureed stuff in the blender, got baby food, kitten formula, etc. Finally they could put it off no longer and went through with it.

I think this is a very individual thing - if you have a confirmed diagnosis that his kidneys are failing, he will not get better - he will only decline as days go by. If you fear he will suffer over the next week then the humane thing might be to go through with Saturday. On the other hand, if you'd like some time together with him, maybe you could ask your vet what he/she thinks? They may be able to offer you some options to reduce any discomfort while you enjoy him a few more days.

What I think is remarkable about cats, and specifically about my sisters is, I think he knew what needed to be done. The last time I saw him he came in the kitchen, looking all skinny compared to his former healthy girth, and he just looked up at her with those bright eyes like he wanted her to make the choice. When she finally took him, she held him on her lap all the way there while she cried her eyes out. The entire way to the vet's he just stared up at her with those eyes, and at one point he reached up and rubbed under her chin with his head, as if to comfort her - like he was resolved. She had him sedated so she could be alone with him a few last minutes and they said he might cry from the shot, but he didn't make a peep. It was as if he knew it was time. (And yes, she called to tell me this story while i was at work and I literally sobbed at my desk...it's a very very hard thing to go through - losing your "baby" - it rips my heart out every time.)

I don't envy you and I'm sorry if I haven't helped you. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. One last thing I would recommend is, if you are a religious person, perhaps you can try praying for wisdom on the matter. This has helped me more times than I can count.

Take care ;(
 
>
>Not to be unsympathetic when it comes to your husband, but I
>wouldn't rush euthanasia just to have it come at a convenient
>time. It will be time when it is time. If I were you, and
>kitty needs your help going on when your hubby's out of town,
>I'd call hubby and let him say good-bye. Do what is best for
>your cat.
>

I completely agree. It's what's best for the cat at this point. Don't put him/her to sleep just because you're afraid your husband won't be home for it. Please don't get me wrong--I completely understand where you and your husband are coming from and his need to be there when the cat passes. But please don't rush something like this because of the "what if's".

You will know when it's time to go ahead with this and from your post I don't think you're comfortable enough or sure enough that it is, indeed the right time.
Good luck with everything--I'll be thinking of you, your DH and your kitty.

Allison
 
RE: How did you know when it was time for euthanasia fo...

Thanks for all your responses, ladies. I appreciate the honesty of your opinions/comments.

Our kitty has been giving us mixed messages. One day he'll be a bit disoriented and the next he'll be alert. One day, he'll hide behind the sofa and the next he'll follow us all around the house. He still seems peaceful to me, though. He is, however, on his fourth straight day without any food intake, despite several fluid treatments. (The fluids were awesome while they worked, by the way). This is the longest period of not eating he has ever had. If he is still not eating by tomorrow or Saturday, then that might be the sign I've been looking for.

This really suc*s, but having him for 15 years was so worth it. (Cripes, where did the 15 years go?).

Take Care,
Shelbygirl
 
Hi Shelbygirl,

I also can understand what you're going through. We just had to put down a 19 year old kitty who stopped eating for several days. Prior to this, we mixed baby food in his wet food which helped him tremendously. Then when he stopped eating this, we would just give him baby food. Over time, he stopped eating this as well and we couldn't get him to eat anything. Unfortunately, it took a while before we could get him to the vet's. He ended up sleeping most of the days/nights those last couple of days. It was sad to say goodbye. We still miss him.

Like the others said, I think it's premature to put him down. If he's still eating periodically, and appears to be happy, then don't put him down. You may also try to heat up his food a bit to make it more appealing for him.

Hope this helps.
Lorrayne
 
{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Shelbygirl! I struggled with this issue in February. My 19 year old poodle was losing weight and becoming incontinent, blind and deaf. He was so sweet - he didn't appear to be in a lot of pain - just stiffness when waking up. However, he could hardly eat because he had lost most of his teeth, soft food gave him diarrhea, he'd fall down steps and bump into walls - it all just broke my heart. To make matters worse, this was a dog that I inherited from my brother after he died. I'd periodically say to my husband, "I think we need to talk about Pooh-bear" and he'd tell me he was fine. Finally I said we needed to talk about him and my husband replied, "Yes,I think we do." I was so devastated. It was the hardest thing to do... but his quality of life was just nonexistent. I had to get him a bed and he'd wake during the day while I was at work, stand up and urinate, then lay back down in it and sleep. He became so thin. Looking back, it was the right thing to do. I had him cremated and I bought a gorgeous marble urn. I put his AKC papers and tags in there, and my son (who is a lovely poet) wrote a short poem, and we put that in, too. My daughter is great with Photoshop, so she created a beautiful portrait that is framed and placed by the urn. Sounds crazy, but he was such a good dog.

Just pray on it, Shelbygirl, and hang in there!
Liz
 
I am so sorry for you. It is so hard. Here is my story:
I had a cat for 11 years and he was eventually diagnosed with diabetes. I was giving him shots for a about month, he lost most of his teeth, and he was having difficulty moving. He was so loving and never left me alone.

Then, suddenly, one day he wouldn't come to me. He sat on the floor and just seemed to look through me. (I always felt a connection with him, like pure love from him and me back to him) But, when he looked at me - it was like he was saying it was time to let him go. I was keeping him with me just for me, not for him. He did not want to be in that body anymore and the way he looked at me...I actually said to him right there, "OK, I will let you go." (Oh gosh, it makes me cry still!)

His quality of life stunk. I did not want to remember him as sick and disabled. I wanted to remember him as his vibrant self.

Look inside of you and ask yourself if you are keeping him alive because YOU do not want to let go. Is he ready to be free from his body? Really ask yourself. I am sending my love to you all.

If you do let him go, a great website that really, REALLY helped me was www.petloss.com
 
Thanks again for all the kind thoughts. We've decided to hold off putting our kitty to sleep for a bit. It might only be for a week, but last night he starting eating again, he was showing more energy and he even jumped in bed with us (and our bed is really high up), so we took that as a sign that he wasn't quite ready to go yet.
We are stepping up his fluid treatments for the next week and we'll just see how he does. I wish I was able to give the fluids myself; it would be so much easier. Luckily, my new vet is open 7 days a week. Perhaps I should rent a room there...

I have one more question for those of you who suggested mixing in baby food with his food. Is there a certain flavor that works best? I've never had a baby, so I have no idea what flavors are available. I'm guessing mashed peas would NOT be the way to go!

Take Care,
Shelbygirl
 
> I wish I was able to give the
>fluids myself; it would be so much easier.

Why are you unable to do it? Just personal taste?

I've given fluids to several of my cats over the years, and I found it's no big deal once you get used to it, though I found out from an emergency vet that a lot of owners don't like to do it (heck, I've dealt with twice-a-day insulin shots, feeding tubes and even an enema, as long as I don't have to do intravenous or intramuscular, I can do needles).

Frisco was my first renal failure cat, and he needed daily fluids. I couldn't imagine taking him to the vet every day: it would have stressed him out more than he needed.

The scruff of the neck has fewer nerve endings than other places, so that's where I do it: massaging the area a bit first to desensitize it, making a tight 'tent,' then putting the needle in (the 'pink' needles---size 20? I think---are a good compromise of speed and comfort. I got some 15's once, which are bigger, and they make the job go faster, but are not as comfortable for kitty). I hang the bag off my shower curtain rod, and that helps things go faster as well.
 
Hi Kathryn.

I'd give the fluids myself in heart beat if I could, but our kitty is quite a handful when it comes to this stuff, even in his current state of health. (He's very sweet and loving otherwise). It takes two people to do anything to him without a huge struggle; I really don't think I could handle it on my own. Unfortunately, my husband's travel schedule has been crazy lately, so we are rarely home at the same time for more than a few days. Therefore, we haven't been able to get into a groove with the fluid administering, so we've been relying on the vet. Luckily, we found a good one that is less than 15 minutes away (we used to drive 30 minutes each way). It is stressful for him, but he seems to shake it off just as soon as he gets home. If our cat somehow holds out until November, my husband will be home regularly, so perhaps we'll be able to do the treatments ourselves. If so, I will be printing out your tips and keeping them by our sides!

Thanks,
Shelbygirl
 
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