Help! Mom of a toddler at wits end!

[banslug]

I'm a yeller. It took me a while to accept it, but I am. My first response is always loud! LOL My boys are now 8 & 11 and what has worked the BEST for me is a combination of making them UNDO what they've done (as somebody else already mentioned) and COMPLETE SILENCE ON MY PART! If they did something wrong and I put them in a timeout (when they were younger), I did so very quietly and the only words I spoke were that they had to stay there for XXX minutes until I come get them. I don't talk or speak to them until they are completely done fixing the problem and then I nicely and CALMLY explain the situation. Taking things away from them didn't work. Reward charts didn't work. But the combo of silence and their fixing it works WONDERS, still to this day!

GOOD LUCK, Wendy. Kids are tough when they test the limits and toe the line!

Gayle

 

[boybielicious]

They do it because they can! LOL. Seriously, though. This age is ALL about curiosity without regard (or understanding, rather) for cause/effect, consequences, etc. I know all too well how this stage goes!

I give three warnings before something is taken away...whether it be a privelege or something Aiden really loves to play with. He can either earn it back or he usually gets it the next day if things go back to normal. I also do timeouts in the bedroom if he is really out there. His room is gated (a lot has to do with safety and our apartment locks) so he must stay in there on his bed quietly until I come to get him.

It is frustrating, no doubt...hang in there, lady ((hugs)) and let me know how else I can help.

 

[Brighton]

Oh, Wendy, I totally hear you on this one.

I remember now that our DS's are super close in age-- I bet it's just a phase. Especially since he's well behaved at preschool. My DS went through the same thing for a few months, and I was ready to tear my hair out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So many people have given you awesome advice, so I don't have much more to add... only to say that if you keep being consistent, I'm sure things will get better with time. My DS is slowly coming out of it, and I hope you begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon too.

I'm here for you!!!!!!!
((((((HUGS))))))

 

[Fit_mommy]

Hi Ladies.

Thanks for the latest responses. You are all so very helpful!

Like Gayle, I tend to be a screamer/yeller too. I think I over-react alot of times when DS misbehaves. I had been wondering if that was part of the problem. That being said, this morning when I woke up I vowed not to yell at DS for anything. There were a few times I was about to "lose it" but I took a deep breath and waited a moment and thought about it before I did it and was able to stop myself. I was stern with him when the need arose and had to repeat myself more then a few times but I was never overly loud. I don't know if it's a coincidence or if it really helped but OMG he was soooo much better behaved today!

ETA: Debbie, check your PM's!

 

[Sunshine1528]

Well Wendy I have to say you did great today ! I think my DD (definitely my most difficult and need I say once again good thing she was the 3rd and not the first!) tried my patience more than anything on this earth. Still does sometimes at the age of 19 and she doesn't even live with me !

I wonder sometimes if they are looking for a reaction? Hope today was the first of a long string of "better" days for you.

 

[Fit_mommy]

Thanks for your response Jacque. What I wondered was if my yelling at him was "teaching him" his smart alec ways or at least making him think it was okay to act that way. As for his other bad behaviors, I don't know what makes him do it. Maybe you are right and it's for attention/reaction?? KIDS! lol

Anyway, this morning was pretty nice as well. He had a little melt-down over something silly but he is prone to tantrums. I was a tantrum thrower myself. It didn't last long though...