Frustrated with potty training.

Fit_mommy

Fit_mommy

Cathlete
My son turned 3 in May. We've been trying to get him interested in potty training since he was 2 1/2 years old. Nothing ever really worked. Then suddenly on Saturday morning something changed and he started peeing in the potty like crazy. We have him in the house with no diaper on and tell him to sit when he has to go. Sometimes he doesn't time it exactly right and leaks a bit but all in all he was doing very well! He even pooped once on saturday! Y'day morning he was doing pee before we left the house for a party. While we were out he wouldn't go on the potty. I can understand that with all of the distraction going on around him. But now this morning he has been up since 7am. He has had alot to drink and he has eaten breakfast. It's been 3 hours and NOTHING! He keeps saying he doesn't have to or doesn't want to go. I'm getting very frustrated and don't know what to do. I can't see putting a pull up or diaper on him now cause I feel like that would set the proccess back even farther. What should I do!? I'm at my wits end!!!:-( x( ;( :-( x( ;(
 
He's got to "go" eventually. Let him know the potty is there when he needs it, then relax. He'll be trained soon enough.... and before you know it he'll be in High School!!! It sure does go fast.
 
Wendy -

Hang in there! I know you are really frustrated right now, but it is like everything with a child - getting rid of the bottle, rid of the pacifier, sleeping on their own -- it all seems overwhelming when your child won't do it... but in the end, don't worry, he'll be potty trained.

I do think 3 might be the magic number for some kids. We tried and tried with our son (who is now 10) and some time during his 3rd year he just did it. I was so glad I didn't spend too much stressing out over it at the age of 2 like so many of my friends did. I did the same with my daughter - when she was ready she did it -- it also during her 3rd year.

Here is just my 2 cents. The moms that ask every 1/2 hour, "do you have to go?" and set them on the potty every hour -- who is really trained? Not the kid, the mom. By the age of 3 - you want your son trained, not you. If he doesn't have to go ... well, he doesn't have to go. I did ask my kids a lot (especially before leaving the house) but never forced it. Just make sure when he does finally go this morning - you give him a lot of praise! :)

Your son just turned 3 - so don't get too frustrated.

Michelle
 
Gosh, Wendy, this sounds really frustrating! I'm not a mother but I've watched friends go through this. I remember one friend putting on a timer and taking her little girl to the potty every 30-45 minutes until she went. If she went over an hour without going (of course she was drinking), then she'd take her every 5-10 minutes or so. She did this for a few days in a row until her daughter starting asking to use the potty. After that, she was pretty much potty trained with a few mishaps here and there.

HTH!
Carolyn
 
Thanks Ladies.

My issue right at this moment is that I wanted to go to the gym this morning. If he doesn't go before we leave then I know as soon as I get him in the car with a pull up on he will pee like crazy. Should I just accept the fact that I may not be able to go to the gym after all or not worry if he pees in his pull up and start again when we get home from the gym??

TIA!
 
Wendy, don't panic about it. He WILL do it in his own timing. My GS was almost 4 before he finally just started staying dry and wanting to use the potty on his own. My daughter was pregnant and they had just moved into their new home where they were doing a lot of the work themselves and she finally just gave up on TRYING to train him...Voila, he did it himself! Go to the gym, have a good workout. All will be fine! (Easy for this Grandma to say, huh!)


http://www.PictureTrail.com/gid8692709


Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH (AKA "Den Mother Debbie") http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/aktion/action-smiley-066.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance, I Hope You DANCE!
 
Yes, it's frustrating!
With my first child I tried the pullups, but within two weeks or less, I realized they weren't helping the situation.

One thing I did was not to use pull-ups at all even when we went or when they went to bed. Luckily my kids never peed in their clothing or at bedtime....so this maynot work in your case.

I feel pull-ups are just like wearing a diaper to a child. Pullups are just a security for them and us. Put the clothing back on your son when he is at home. Let him wet himself. He may not like it and then be convinced to use the bathroom eventually.

Also, keep in mind even when you think they have gotten the hang of it....sometimes they do revert back.

It will all workout in the end.



Namita
 
I helped potty train the kids I nanneied. They were girls, so, or course, you'd have to change it up a bit.

First, which I'm sure you've figured out, in the beginning, you can't depend on them to tell you everytime; you have to ask, remind, suggest. When they told me that they didn't have to go, and I knew it had been about 30 or 40 minutes since they had had liquid, I would say, "That's okay, but why don't you just come to the bathroom with me while I wash my hands?" I'd take down their underwear, put them on the toilet, start talking to them about something completely unrelated to potty training, and turn the water on to just a steady stream. All of a sudden, they'd start peeing. I loved their reactions. So many times they'd say, "I DID have to go!" The main thing I think, is to be calm and sound like making them pee is the last thing you're trying to do!!!

With boys, you could just stand them there, I guess and tell them to try, again, just while you wash your hands, and do the same thing. It might work.
 
No advice to offer, but I am dealing with the same situation with DD without success. She will be 3 in September.
 
Teresa!

I did the same thing with my GS...he would say he didn't have to go but sometimes, I would just take him in bathroom with me, pull his pull-ups down and sit him on pot while I was chattering away about something entirely diff just to distract him. He never fought me that way. Worked many times!


http://www.PictureTrail.com/gid8692709


Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH (AKA "Den Mother Debbie") http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/aktion/action-smiley-066.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance, I Hope You DANCE!
 
My son turns 3 next month and he has no desire to go potty. I've heard time and again when they're ready it happens all in one day. (I'm just hoping that one day is just around the corner:p :p )
 
I feel your frustration. I agree that pull ups do not help the situation but unfortunately the best way to potty train is to make the child feel uncomfortable when they go in their pants. When they know that if they poop or pee in their underwear it feels gross and nasty, then they won't want to do it anymore. I know not exactly the best for us moms and dads but like with all challenges that I've faced with my kids I always say "It will always get worse before it gets better." It took my 2 year old daughter 2 days to potty train and my 3 year old son almost 1 month! A little trick I used while training him was I would put him in underwear and put the pull ups over the underwear and the clothes on over that. That way when he would poop or pee he would feel it, and it would save me at least some clean up. I mean there is always going to be clean up but I'd rather clean dirty underwear then a dirty floor, plants, sofa, well you know what I mean. Hey good luck! Hang in there!
 
Neither of the little girls I helped potty train showed a desire before we started the process, but both were potty-trained by the time they were 2 1/2, and it was relatively painless. I was with both of them for 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week, and the parents and I just made sure we were doing the same things with them, to keep it consistant. One was trained in about one week and the other took about two weeks.

It's kind of like, does a child have to show an interest in solid food before you give it to them? There are some things you just do, because they need to learn it, it's best for them, and it makes everyone's-theirs, but especially the parents' and other caregivers'-lives a lot easier.
 
I remember going through all of this with my two DDs. Being so crazy and anxious about going potty! I about drove myself bananas :p Now I look back and think it was just a blip in time. It sounds like your son is doing really well. :)

Good luck!!!!

Mary
 
Well I was so frustrated that I knew staying home from the gym would do neither myself nor DS any good so off we went. When I was done with my work out I was calmer. We came home and are back on potty duty. He knows the potty is there. He has nothing on so if he has an accident he will be VERY aware of it as it will run down his leg. When we put underwear on him he doesn't neccessarily realize or care that he's gone. When he is naked, it clicks with him so that's what I'm going to stick with. Ofcourse, this tactic will not work OUTSIDE of our home but hey, gotta start somewhere, right? :p

So anyway, we will see how he does until nap time.

Thanks for the encouraging words ladies! I knew I could count on you!:*
 
Hello Wendy,

I just went through this about 6 months ago with my boy. We started right before he turned 3, and it was a struggle. I can understand your frustation completely!! When I potty trained my oldest, I used the Azzrin-Fox method and we were done in 4 hours. So imagine my dismay when I trained my 2 1/2 year old daughter and it took 2 weeks! Then I trained her brother 2 months later (they are twins) and it took us about 7 days.

Good news is that it sounds like you've made it through the hard part - getting him to understand and appreciate using the potty, not a pull-up or diaper. You've got to get him to really grasp that sensation of "I gotta go" and make it to the potty before he has an accident.

The best way I found to do this is to stop using Pull-Ups, period. Put him in big boy pants so he can feel what it's like when he has an accident. If he's anything like my son is, he will NOT like that feeling and it will speed up his potty training! That means even when you leave the house, so be prepared with extra clothes. This includes nighttime, too. I still have to change sheets a few times a week, but everyone here was trained within 2 weeks.

HTH, feel free to email me with any questions.


Tricia
 
YAY! He just peed in the potty all by himself! I hadn't even asked him if he had to go, he just knew it and showed me when he was done! That's my boy. :)
 
>Hello Wendy,
>
>I just went through this about 6 months ago with my boy. We
>started right before he turned 3, and it was a struggle. I
>can understand your frustation completely!! When I potty
>trained my oldest, I used the Azzrin-Fox method and we were
>done in 4 hours. So imagine my dismay when I trained my 2 1/2
>year old daughter and it took 2 weeks! Then I trained her
>brother 2 months later (they are twins) and it took us about 7
>days.
>
>Good news is that it sounds like you've made it through the
>hard part - getting him to understand and appreciate using the
>potty, not a pull-up or diaper. You've got to get him to
>really grasp that sensation of "I gotta go" and make it to the
>potty before he has an accident.
>
>The best way I found to do this is to stop using Pull-Ups,
>period. Put him in big boy pants so he can feel what it's
>like when he has an accident. If he's anything like my son
>is, he will NOT like that feeling and it will speed up his
>potty training! That means even when you leave the house, so
>be prepared with extra clothes. This includes nighttime, too.
> I still have to change sheets a few times a week, but
>everyone here was trained within 2 weeks.
>
>HTH, feel free to email me with any questions.
>
>
>Tricia

Perhaps I should give this a shot. It's obviously a pretty popular way to go from what everyone's been saying on the thread so far...

I'll just have to resign myself to carrying lots of extra clothes with me and doing alot more laundry for a while...;)

I actually tried it a few months back thinking I could "shock" him into training but he just kept peeing himself. After about 5 changes of clothes in one day, I gave up. He would come to me to change him out of the wet clothing but still had no interest in using the potty.

Hopefully this time will be different....
 
Sounds like you are getting a lot of good advice here but I just have one tip to add. I completely agree with no pull-ups ever -- not even at night. To make nights easier on myself, I bought a bunch of those flat waterproof crib matress pads, and I stacked them up on top of the sheet. If there was an accident in the middle of the night, voila, you just pull off one layer, change the kid, and go back to bed -- no fussing with sheet changing. To this day, my six year old son still has an extra layer (under his sheet at this point), just in case. It's almost just a good luck charm at this point, since we haven't had any accidents in a looooong time (thankfully!). Relax, and good luck.

-Beth
 
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