Fill in the blank thank you notes?

B

Boybert

Cathlete
I just received a thank you from my friend's daughter's one year old bday party early last month. It basically read: Dear _____, Thank you for the ________. It made her special day!

Now I certainly don't give presents expecting anything in return but I think this note just struck me as very impersonal. I remembered hand writing each thank you note for our wedding presents and trying to write a warm note no matter how short. Now am I a total weirdo for thinking this? Maybe the trends have changed & I'm missing something, but my first thought (and just MY thought so please don't be upset) is don't invite that many people if you can't write a note.


"you miss 100% of the shots you never take"

Debbie
 
That's pathetic. How long could it take to write a "few words" to thank someone. I wrote all mine out too. Yes trends have changed for the worse just like everything else. I guess some people are just "too busy" to take the time. Who knows?
Kali

Just got vacation pics added!
www.PictureTrail.com/kkali
 
Writing thank you notes drives me up a wall!!! x(

For my wedding I wanted to get pre-printed thank you's with a generic verse on it and then just sign them from DH and myself. I know I am bad :p but I still don't think it's such an awful idea! Especially for a wedding where most people give $$! The only difference in my thank you's for the wedding were wether I wrote "thank you for the VERY generous gift", "thank you for the generous gift", etc! I was emphatically told that this was not the "right" thing to do regardless so there I was writing out thank you notes for a solid week or two until I got them all done. UGH!!!

Anyway...I guess what I am trying to say is that I think the fact that you send a thank you card is what counts, not that it reads differently from anyone else's...For me I could get the thank you that is generic or the thank you that is a bit more "personal" and it wouldn't make a difference because if you are CLOSE to me I KNOW you are very thankful for what I have given you...I don't need a personal note to tell me that.

JMHO!:)

ETA: EEK! I just read the other responses...guess I look like a huge jerk now! Sorry!

Gosh, I am "talkative" today! All of my posts are long as heck! lol Sorry!
 
Hmm, I have to agree with you. I will say that at least she sent a thank you note. But, I can understand that kind of thank you note from a 5 or 6 year old just learning to write them, not from an adult for whom it would take 5 seconds to hand write a simple thank you line. I'm sure this would curl Emily Post's hair.
 
I can think of nothing that gets my gym shorts in a bunch more than this. It's really pretty narcissistic. You take the time to shop, wrap a gift, maybe even pay a baby sitter so you can shop, and again so you can attend the party, and for what--somebody's crappy chicken salad? The next time you're invited to something like this, just take the gift in an old paper bag. Better yet, give them something used AND in an old paper bag. Uhoh--now you've done it. This topic gets me up on the old high horse every time! x(

What really gets me going is the thankless bride. Weddings often entail a shower or two (1 or 2 gifts), possibly out of town travel including a night spent in a hotel, a wedding gift, and maybe a new outfit to wear to the wedding. And I can't believe the things that people put on their bridal registries!! Geez--if you can't afford to buy dishes you can't afford to get married.

I think it's so important to express your gratefulness for the work, time, and love that's put into a gift. We shouldn't take it for granted that someone will just "know" that a gift is appreciated. When I was a kid my mom would never let me get away with something like this.

Michele
 
"What really gets me going is the thankless bride. Weddings often entail a shower or two (1 or 2 gifts), possibly out of town travel including a night spent in a hotel, a wedding gift, and maybe a new outfit to wear to the wedding. And I can't believe the things that people put on their bridal registries!! Geez--if you can't afford to buy dishes you can't afford to get married."
*****************************************************

Showers are given by someone else for the bride, traditionally the bridal party but should NOT be EXPECTED. That being said, when I got married I did not EXPECT a shower so I am not that "thankless bride"--not that you directed that comment at me but I feel I have to clarify here. I did not expect one nor did I ask for one. I was TOLD I was getting one and then I asked them to keep it small at that. I also limited my registry and was yelled at by several people that I didn't register for enough stuff!

A night in a hotel is up to the guest. No one FORCES you to spend the night in a hotel after a wedding so I don't feel the bride and groom should feel accountable for that.

A new outfit? Again, up to the guest! If I don't have a Black Tie wedding that your average person wouldn't have a proper outfit for, why is that something that I should feel responsible for? That makes no sense to me personally.

I am thankful to each and every person who attends any "event" of mine that would entail a thank you card being sent and I DO send them and I DO make them personal as much as I can...Writing out thank you's just happens to be a pet peeve of mine. For some reason I just hate doing it but it doesn't mean a thankless b*tch because, believe it or not, I am about as far from a b*tch as one can get! :*

Again, JMHO, ofcourse. :)
 
Very tacky. It takes but a minute to write a note I think how appreciative I am when someone does do that. It shows that they were just as thoughtful as the person sending a gift.

On that same topic-- I have yet to receive a thank you from a cousin who was married in June. My Adopted mom checked with her sister to be sure she received my card and got a "Well she is very busy , has no time to write thank you's" I just thought that was a little tacky too. I checked later to see if the check was cashed and yup it was a few days after being mailed. Seems she had time to do that.x( Oh well, I do hope she put the money to good use.
 
Hi Wendy,

My remarks were not directed to you at all. My post was just to reflect, in general, my thoughts on the topic of people who accept gifts and do not follow up with a proper thank you note.

I realize that bridal showers are given for the bride and not asked for, however, people still come and bring gifts. Don't get me wrong here. I have no problem with bridal showers. I think they're a nice touch and often a lot of fun. I just think it's rude not to demonstrate appreciation by sending a thank you note. The bride can always request "no gifts". That's what I did. I applaud you for limiting your bridal registry. I did that as well. It has not always been the custom to give gifts at weddings. Miss Manners says that you shoudn't give wedding gifts at all.

As for spending the night in a hotel, I think every wedding I've been invited to in the last several years has been out of town and far enough away that it necessitated an overnight stay. In fact, the last few weddings I've been to were morning ceremonies with a reception in the evening, making it an all day affair. And I don't know how it is for everybody else, but for both my husband and I, our families are spread out across the country. The same is true with old college friends. We've attended weddings at great distance and expense (airline tickets) and then didn't receive thank you notes.

But you're absolutely right--a new outfit is totally up to the person.

Michele
 
Are you talking about pre printed thank you notes? I used to buy stationery products for a retail store that I worked at and there was a company that had cute (IMO) thank you notes for kids that were fill in the blank, they had crayon font. Personally, I think that is totally acceptable being that it was a gift for a one year old. I know that it is the parents responsibility to write TY notes as a one year old can't physically write but... I don't know, I just don't think it's a big deal.
 
That does seem rather impersonal. Kind of takes away from the sincerity of it.

I can only see it being of value if you have to send thank yous for hundreds of gifts. If not, it's just plain lazy.
 
I agree with the idea that fill in the blanks are appropriate for a certain age category. I've gotten a few from my nieces and god-children who have 'obviously' filled them in themselves - I loved them! They were so happy to have been able to do them without their parent's help, too.

On the OTHER hand, I'm pretty old fashioned about etiquette for adults or older children who should know better. It's just the right thing to do, IMO. It doesn't take long to write a short but sincere note, really. In all honesty, mine are not always as prompt as they should be, but I do the best I can... I keep notes in my purse, car and desk at work so I can squeeze one in when I have a few free minutes (dr's office, break, etc.) Doesn't take long to get them done and it shows respect to the other person. I even send them to my parents - yeah, I know they 'know' I'm greatful, but it doesn't hurt to see it in writing. Besides, there are such cute cards and stationery products these days, I'm just looking for an excuse to send something to someone!!:)
 
I don't think this is such a big deal for this type of occasion. I have two kids who have attended any number of b-day parties and I will tell you I don't think I've ever gotten one thank you... I don't expect them, either.

Weddings and bridal showers, on the other hand, are more formal occasions and therefore have more expectations attached. What a nightmare writing those things out, though. LOL

Marie
 
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