Dani's right - theknot.com is awesome! I spent SOOOO much time on that website when I was planning my wedding (a year and a half ago). Sometimes there's some cattiness in the Planning Forum, because everyone has a different idea of what is tasteful and what is tacky. So many arguments amongst brides over whether it's "tacky" to do a dollar dance or if it's "tacky" to have a wedding cake that isn't white, etc etc. Tacky is in the eye of the beholder.
As for who pays for the wedding - the conventional rules are completely out the window these days, since couples are marrying older and after they are established with careers and such. DH and I paid for our entire wedding ourselves (we were 26 when we got married, working full-time jobs with good incomes, and did not find it necessary to ask for parental funding). So the biggest thing for us was creating a budget and sticking to it. We did pretty well with our budget - it was a small budget, and we were having a very small wedding (25 guests), and I am crafty enough that I was able to make a lot of things myself (invitations, programs, placecards, centerpieces, bouquets, etc), which saved tons of money. I have a bazillion tips for saving money, PM me if you're interested. Many brides have the luxury of not having to worry about money. Ahhh, to dream...
Some things to keep in mind - many vendors will try to rip you off as soon as they find out you're planning a wedding. See if you can get a price from them BEFORE you ever mention the word "wedding". Use a term like "family get-together" or "family reunion" (because weddings often are a family get-together). There is a book that you NEED to get, if you are at all concerned with budget, called Bridal Bargains. It will help you negotiate the best prices for everything for your wedding.
Trying on wedding gowns is a LOT of fun, so DO go to several bridal shops and have a grand time. Don't let a bridal shop rope you into paying a "try-on fee" or paying to keep a file of your favorite dresses. You shouldn't have to pay a dime to try on a dress. Bridal shops are notorious for being very poorly-managed businesses that use all kinds of sneaky underhanded tricks to make an extra buck. Certainly there are good ones out there, but the industry as a whole has a very bad reputation. Get everything in writing and don't agree to anything you're not 100% comfortable with. There are other options besides bridal shops too, so don't forget about that.
Most importantly, have fun planning! Enjoy the food tastings when selecting a caterer, and hanging with the bridesmaids, and being excited when your invitations arrive in the mail. It's a fun process!
