Janice:
you sound troubled and trying to make light of it. I hope you are OK. My life is like yours. Up and down and all over the place. So much emotional upset currently, trying to keep it ll together and not lose myself in the process. Trying hard to work out what I want and if I'm foing the right things. I've decided to go for it anyway and at least do something. I can't put off life and the future forever. If it turns out not to be the right thing, well at least I will have achieved something and can then review from there. But the indecision and procrastination are hurting me and my family too much so I am just following a plan I set for myself to see it through to fruition.
Why did you sell your hardcores? Oh Janice!....... Rash and impetuous girl!!!! Don't make any more rash decisions for a while, OK?
Exercise is probably one of the only things keeping me going right now. But I know how you feel. In a rut, need something new, different, a breath of fresh air.
I would hike with you if I could. There's nothing I crave more than getting outside, sunlight and fresh air. I can't make it from Michigan! Sorry....
Are there students at the college you could hike with? Are there any outdoor adventure/orienteering clubs you could get into and find like minds to hike with? Among aall the students on a campus, there has to be a certain perentage that craves the outdoors as you do. Just gotta find them and latch on. Give it a go. Send out mass emails to various departments to drum up enthusiasm if you have to. here at the U of M, people send out mass emails for much less important things like "sublet" or "selling a couch", drives me mad. I'd far rather read of peoploe trying to drum up hiking partners!
It's hard to find the passion for life sometimes when you are feeling all turned upside down and don't know whether to move or not, grab something or back away from it. I do know how you feel. But you know, sometimes the passion comes back from beginning to do the thing, whatever the thing is. It can reach a stage where thinking about it and putting it off further becomes poisonous and leads to an endless cycle of procrastination and I know, I've been in one for the last 3 years.
I am now going to just try doing it and I know that small successes with feed the passion and produce larger successses and my zest for life and hope for a future different from the last 3 years of my life.
I'm with you Janice every step of the way, and thinking of you.
Hugs,
Clare