Acceptance

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
OK this post will probably annoy some people, but maybe surprise some also.

In the process of cleaning out my closets & dressers during the last two weekends (yeah I know, I have a lotta stuff), I forced myself to finally accept the fact that I'm a size zero. This has taken me years, but I finally gave away most of my size 4s & large cut size 2s (Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, etc.). Partly b/c I'm desperately in need of the space, & partly b/c they're really nice, expensive clothes & someone should benefit from them.

I had a really hard time accepting that I AM a size zero. First of all, there are definite psychological issues here (thank goodness for the Gap & Old Navy, b/c I can buy a size one & still feel like a person). Buying a size zero makes me feel like I'm a nothing, a nobody, that I don't count. So, you might say, gain some weight! But it's my body type. I'm built like a skinny teenage boy. If I gain weight I just look like a chubby teenage boy. With extra long frizzy hair LOL.

Also it's really hard to find size zero. Most department stores don't carry them (in fact, many dept. store clothiers don't even make a size 2), & retailers that do just order a couple b/c they're not big sellers (no pun intended).

Also, I'm always afraid to order size zeros online b/c I'm scared they'll be too tight. Even though intellectually I know I'm a size zero, emotionally I'll always think I'm bigger.

Is it just me? Or has anyone else had this problem?
 
Lauramax, my first reaction as I started reading your post was annoyance and a sarcastic "wah." The more I read, however, the more I sympathized. I will never be a zero. Probably I will never wear anything in a single digit. It's hard for me to understand that there may be issues with being small too. All I can do is send you a hug and tell you life will go on. Be happy with your small, strong, boyish body.
 
LauraMax,

I can totally relate to your comments. When I was a solid size zero a couple of years ago, I, too was depressed (I'm a 4 right now). I was excited getting down to this size as I wore a size 12 seven years ago!

When I did drop down to a smaller size, it was difficult letting go of some really expensive clothing. However, I knew I wasn't going to be a size 10 or 12 again.

Anyway, it was really difficult to find anything that fit me. I would go into places like Banana Republic and couldn't find anything that would fit me. I would attempt to try on their smallest size (a 2 I believe) and I would be swimming in it. Like you, the Gap was my friend. A size 1 fit perfectly. I primarily shopped at the Gap and at Petite Sophisticate. Of course, they're out of business now and would make shopping even more depressing.

So, yes, even though I'm not currently a size zero, I can relate to what you're writing. However, I still am saving my size zeros as I wear them when I'm 10 pounds lighter.

Hope this helps.
Lorrayne
 
LauraMax,

I understand. I am a size zero also. It doesn't make me feel like a nobody though because it's just a size. What I DO find distressing however, is the fact that I have a heck of a time finding clothes. I feel your pain in that respect.

I feel like I've found gold treasure if I walk up to a rack of clothing in a regular department store and find something that fits me. I am 49 years old. I don't like junior clothing for two reasons: The styles are not what I want to wear, and the quality is awful. Therefore, I want to shop in the nicer clothing lines. So many of them just don't carry our size.

Another thought about Size Zero... I don't think it's that we are that tiny. I think it's that the manufacterers are catering to women who are of average size. We are below the average, therefore we don't get catered to. I can't tell you the number of times I have been into a store and found something I loved (a skirt, a shirt, something..) and asked the sales clerk if she has it in a zero. Her standard response is usually, "OH, we had one size zero in that, but somebody bought it the first day it was on the rack." ONE? That's just it... the store buyers don't think there are many of us size zeros out there. :(

I've found an excellent clothing store that DOES cater to our size. White House/Black Market. It has gorgeous clothes, high quality, stylish and there are lots of small sizes! Yippee!

Good luck! :)
 
It's the unfortunate plight of lots women in this country to attach their self-worth to a clothing size, as dumb as that sounds, and I've been sucked into it myself. A bigger size would depress me more than a smaller size, but I can still dig what you're saying.

When you were interviewed for your job, was the most important question, "What size do you wear"? Heck, no! Your employer did not give a rat's behind about that, he wanted to know how you would do the job that was being offered!

Would it help to know that 20 years ago you would have been a size 4? They've been monkeying with sizes so today's 0 yesterday's 4. So, see, you're really not a 0!

You, me, and every other woman is NOT defined by the tag on the clothes we fit into. Let's all just knock it off! Easier said than done, right?

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Mark Twain ;-)
 
I think I could easily accept being a size zero :+ although I can understand the frustration of not being able to find clothes easily....
 
Laura, I can totally empathize with you! I'm barely a size 0 (even after having two children). Some of my jeans are a girls 12 or 14 slim. I've never felt like a nothing because of the clothing size number though. It's kind of ironic, I have a shelf in my closet with larger size pants that I'll never wear, but wont get rid of.

Fortunately...or maybe unfortunately, I don’t *see* how small I really am. I can honestly see a woman who is a size 6 or 8 and think we're both the same size.

Hey, it could be worse for you...I wear a size 2.5 children’s shoe and I'm 35 years old.

Susan C.M.
 
laura,

I looked at your picturetrail and I dont think you look too skinny or scrawny looking. You look muscular and fit to me,I think there is a difference in being skinny and small and fit and small. How tall are you? I wear a 4/5 sometimes smaller sometimes bigger depending on manufacturer. There is a girl at work,we are both the same height and size but I weigh 5more lbs than her and my co workers told me I am more athletic looking than her,which I take as a compliment. You can be a smaller person and be fit, appreciate your body. You look great!
 
LauraMax

I have to agree with what has been posted previously. Don't let a size define you...that goes for you and everyone else!!

You are beautiful...not expecting you to find consolation in this, but there are many, many women who would love to be in that body of yours.


http://www.GlitterMaker.com/created/39583717.gif[/IMG][/URL]
(fitxme)
http://www.picturetrail.com/fitxme
 
Hey Laura !!!1

As others have said, and as I've mentioned before... all that muscle, and you're worried about being too small? Ha! I think you look great. I can understand the points you made, though.

Now, I'm a size 6 or 8 usually, depending on how they cut the clothes. When I order from LL Bean, I'm always an 8, and they've kept their sizing the same ever since I've been ordering from them. Now when I shop in department stores, on the other hand, I am down to a size4 now because yes, they are definitely messing with the sizes to make larger people feel better. And while I don't have quite as extreme a problem as you, sometimes I really do have trouble finding my size, because the stores around here carry predominantly sizes 12-16.

I'm glad you're able to accept yourself for who you are now! That's a good thing. And just be glad you don't have our family's hereditary gigantic "caboose."

See ya!
 
I, personally, don't want to be a zero. I am happy with being a 4. DH likes a women with curves and a little meat on the bones and I like my curves the way they are now.
 
I think the fashion industry is TOTALLY lying to us. Since I've been a size 14 teenager, I have gained and lost the same 30 pounds over and over and through it all I have remained a size 14.

I am 38 years old and still the same size despite having a woman's hips and thighs and carrying around 25 more pounds than I did 20 years ago.

Take heart - you are really NOT a ZERO - literally or symbolically (obviously)! You are probably a real size 2 or 4, it's just as the fashionistas have inflated the size 14s and 16s to make us sumptuous woman feel better (HA!) they left the petite women in the dust.

As a feminist I take real issue with the messed up clothes industry and the stupid fashion magazines (of which I would included a lot of the so-called fitness magazines ;) )

Whew! End of rant. I need to sit down and rest...:p

Does that help?

-Susan L.G.

BTW, FWIW, I think your physique is totally inspirational and looks very much like Mistress Cathe herself!
 
Yes! The sizing is just totally crazy these days. I'm a size 2 in many things, which is simply absurd (I'm 5'9", 130# - that's just simply NOT a size 2) - when I weighed about 10# less in high school / college, I think I was a 6 or an 8 in most clothes. If anything, I'm slightly bigger now, yet I wear size 2-4, or Small. The whole downsizing of clothing to make people feel better about themselves is crazymaking, as is the fact that on top of it, you often can't find single digit sizes on the racks, let alone small single digits.

Hang in there LauraMax - find the stores that you know you like the styles, and order online if they don't have your size in the store. And stock up on staples - when you find a pair of pants that fit well and that you like, buy a few in a variety of colors, and mix and match with more colorful blouses/sweaters/etc.

m.
 
I was going to say something like what Susan said. The reason you are a size 0 is because women are bigger now. Supersizing, high fructose corn syrup, sedentary lifestyles, etc. have made the average American woman larger than she used to be. Back in the day, you would have been a perfect size 4, but sizes have changed, not you. There was a time that I would have laughed at the idea of wearing a size 4, and now my closet is filled with it. I sympathize with how hard it must be to find clothes in your size. I'm sure that's quite a challenge.

-Nancy
 
I have the same problem you do with shoes. I'm a size 5 and the only way these days I can find a 5 is to either go to Target OR spend more money than I'm comfortable with by shopping on the Internet. It's a pain in the caboose but I've managed. I can't do anything to make my feet bigger or believe me, I would. At least to a 6 or 6.5.
 
Laura, I've not had your problem - I've been very overweight for years but finally buckling down to overcome that - but I saw your photos and you look beautiful and feminine, not a "skinny teenage boy" at all, lol. Actually I thought you looked pretty identical in size to Cathe (did it seem so to you?).

I totally agree that manufacturers have dumbed down clothing sizes to satisfy the average "supersize-me!" American consumer and also think you look like you'd wear a size 4. Whatever - you look great!!

It was interesting to see Cedie in your picture trail... she looked more slender in your photos than she appears in the videos (not knocking her, she's my idol!) and I wonder what size she wears?
 
>I, personally, don't want to be a zero. I am happy with
>being a 4. DH likes a women with curves and a little meat on
>the bones and I like my curves the way they are now.


And this is something else that bugs me about being a zero. I do have curves. I also have meat on my bones. Just because we wear a smaller size, doesn't mean we are skin and bones.

I'm also a little puzzled by women that say "DH likes... so-and-so..." I prefer to please myself first. My DH is happy with me because I am happy with me. JMHO -- No offense meant! :D
 
You know what?? It has nothing to do with being a size 0 or a size 12. What it has to do with is never being happy with what you are, with what you have, with what you have accomplished. While you are upset with your size 0 and struggling for acceptance, so is almost every other lady walking next to you in the supermarket. You are not unique. Actually, you are the norm.

Sad, but true.

Except it is just really freakin' hard for you to buy clothes. LOL}(
 
Hmmm....I really can't relate to feeling insignificant because I am a zero/negative zero. As the others have posted, it is only a size and doesn't define me as a person. I do know sometimes people will take liberties with you they wouldn't dare take if you were a much larger size (ie: look you up and down and ask, "What size do you wear?") but other than that and not being able to find good clothes and underwear in many gorgeous styles and colors.... for me, it is not any different than being larger (then again, I've never been any larger so I will only speak for myself).

As for finding clothes online....I think we are all never sure if they are going to fit no matter what size we choose.

Robin:)
ETA: I am only a zero in pants....I can usually find tops fairly easily.
 
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