icklemoley
Cathlete
.
Relationships ending, blame and why is it always "me"
- Thread starter icklemoley
- Start date
endorphin_junkie
Cathlete
RE: Relationships ending, blame and why is it always
Hi Wayne, I went to read your post and saw that it was edited down to a single period. Are you okay? The subject line leads me to believe that your aren't feeling too chipper.
I'm sure in your heart that you know a relationship takes two to flourish and two to crash and burn, it is NOT just you. Don't forget that sometimes two perfectly wonderful people might just not be wonderfully perfect for each other.
Hope you're okay! ((((((((HUGS))))))))
Take Care
Laurie
Hi Wayne, I went to read your post and saw that it was edited down to a single period. Are you okay? The subject line leads me to believe that your aren't feeling too chipper.
I'm sure in your heart that you know a relationship takes two to flourish and two to crash and burn, it is NOT just you. Don't forget that sometimes two perfectly wonderful people might just not be wonderfully perfect for each other.
Hope you're okay! ((((((((HUGS))))))))
Take Care
Laurie
RE: Relationships ending, blame and why is it always
Well, it's always you b/c you're a guy, of course.
Seriously, I'm not trying to make light of your breakup (if that's what we're discussing here). In fact, one of the reasons I stayed waaaay too long in my marriage was b/c the very thought of re-entering the dating game made me sick to my stomach. Dating sucks.
With that said, most people feel better about ending a relationship if they can place blame on the other party & take responsibility off themselves. Actually, I think this is true about most all of life's screw ups. People just can't take responsibility for their own actions, and they think making someone else look bad will make them look good.
Unless you're shooting for marriage, relationships are going to come & go, so the "ending" thing is pretty much inevitable. The question is only how it will end, which is obviously up to both parties. If one is bitter & angry there isn't much the other can do except take the hit & move on. Unfortunately, being permanently single (as I've chosen to be) means you're gonna get beat up on once in a while. But IMO it's better than being stuck in something that's not good for you, & therefore isn't good for either one of you.
Just remember, we're all here for ya.........not only to support your fitness goals but if you just feel like venting........
Well, it's always you b/c you're a guy, of course.
Seriously, I'm not trying to make light of your breakup (if that's what we're discussing here). In fact, one of the reasons I stayed waaaay too long in my marriage was b/c the very thought of re-entering the dating game made me sick to my stomach. Dating sucks.
With that said, most people feel better about ending a relationship if they can place blame on the other party & take responsibility off themselves. Actually, I think this is true about most all of life's screw ups. People just can't take responsibility for their own actions, and they think making someone else look bad will make them look good.
Unless you're shooting for marriage, relationships are going to come & go, so the "ending" thing is pretty much inevitable. The question is only how it will end, which is obviously up to both parties. If one is bitter & angry there isn't much the other can do except take the hit & move on. Unfortunately, being permanently single (as I've chosen to be) means you're gonna get beat up on once in a while. But IMO it's better than being stuck in something that's not good for you, & therefore isn't good for either one of you.
Just remember, we're all here for ya.........not only to support your fitness goals but if you just feel like venting........
T
trevor
Guest
RE: Relationships ending, blame and why is it always
Max,
If the relationship involves two GUYS, then who gets the blame my dear?
T.
Max,
If the relationship involves two GUYS, then who gets the blame my dear?
T.
H
Hotspur
Guest
RE: Relationships ending, blame and why is it always
Trev-- This is me right now :7 :7 :7 You're bad.
Trev-- This is me right now :7 :7 :7 You're bad.
T
trevor
Guest
RE: Relationships ending, blame and why is it always
Ah you luv it Hotspur!! }( LOL!
Actually I was being serious. I mean, according to my wife I am always to blame, and Max backed that up with her statement, soooooo....thought I'd ask.
T.
Ah you luv it Hotspur!! }( LOL!
Actually I was being serious. I mean, according to my wife I am always to blame, and Max backed that up with her statement, soooooo....thought I'd ask.
T.
RE: Relationships ending, blame and why is it always
It would be the guy who takes on the more masculine role in the relationship I guess. This reminds me of the question George Costanza asked of Susan when she turned gay after their breakup--"who leads when you dance?" Susan found this highly offensive but personally I thought it was a totally legitimate question & am very sorry it was never answered. }(
It would be the guy who takes on the more masculine role in the relationship I guess. This reminds me of the question George Costanza asked of Susan when she turned gay after their breakup--"who leads when you dance?" Susan found this highly offensive but personally I thought it was a totally legitimate question & am very sorry it was never answered. }(
H
Hotspur
Guest
RE: Relationships ending, blame and why is it always
That's a good point. Whoever is more manly in the relationship is to blame?
That's a good point. Whoever is more manly in the relationship is to blame?
T
trevor
Guest
Spur and Max.....
you two are a handful, I can tell!!! LOL!!
And to Spur, what if the woman is more manly.....can we blame her?
Also I wanted to say that I hope everything is cool with Wayne. We kind of hijacked his thread here......
T.
you two are a handful, I can tell!!! LOL!!
And to Spur, what if the woman is more manly.....can we blame her?
Also I wanted to say that I hope everything is cool with Wayne. We kind of hijacked his thread here......
T.
H
Hotspur
Guest
RE: Spur and Max.....
Why? Are you the skirt wearer in the relationship, Trev??
Why? Are you the skirt wearer in the relationship, Trev??
RE: Relationships ending, blame and why is it always
Wayne,
Life just sucks sometimes! I'm thinking about you - whatever your going through.{{{{HUGS}}}}
Think of dating like a huge flea market--most of the stuff there is real crap, but when you find that one perfect item it makes your soul sing! You just have to keep shopping!
Have you ever considered coming over to this side of the "pond"? We have tons of guys over here in America who would treat you as you deserve: with love, respect, and adoration.
The right person IS out there for you, it just takes time to find him. He will love you for you, and not care about any of the things you have been told are flaws. I like to think of them as imperfections--all good quality diamonds have them, and thats what makes them sparkle!
Wayne all of us here care about you, and I for one always look forward to reading your posts. If you need us, we are here for you!
Hang in there, and take care!
Nadine
~~Happiness is an Attitude~~
Wayne,
Life just sucks sometimes! I'm thinking about you - whatever your going through.{{{{HUGS}}}}
Think of dating like a huge flea market--most of the stuff there is real crap, but when you find that one perfect item it makes your soul sing! You just have to keep shopping!
Have you ever considered coming over to this side of the "pond"? We have tons of guys over here in America who would treat you as you deserve: with love, respect, and adoration.
The right person IS out there for you, it just takes time to find him. He will love you for you, and not care about any of the things you have been told are flaws. I like to think of them as imperfections--all good quality diamonds have them, and thats what makes them sparkle!
Wayne all of us here care about you, and I for one always look forward to reading your posts. If you need us, we are here for you!
Hang in there, and take care!
Nadine
~~Happiness is an Attitude~~
T
trevor
Guest
RE: Spur and Max.....
LOL!! I KNEW you'd say that.
And no, skirts aren't my style. I prefer hotpants.
T..
LOL!! I KNEW you'd say that.
And no, skirts aren't my style. I prefer hotpants.
T..
H
Hotspur
Guest
RE: Spur and Max.....
Do you put on tight neon pink spandex pants and work out to Richard Simmons both ways? }(
Do you put on tight neon pink spandex pants and work out to Richard Simmons both ways? }(
RE: Spur and Max.....
Yes, whoever's more manly in the relationship is to blame. And this doesn't count for 1) women who are more macho in heterosexual relationships or 2) women who are more macho in homosexual relationships. Mostly b/c women simply do not have the same genetic makeup as men. For the most part we missed out on the cheating gene, the laziness gene, the I'll-leave-the-seat-up-when-I-damn-well-please gene, the I-don't-know-how-to-change-the-TP-roll gene, the why-can't-colors-and-whites-go-in-the-same-load gene, the I-don't-do-housework gene, the I-shouldn't-have-to-take-care-of-the-kids-because-I-work-full-time gene, and a myriad of other genes that by and large make women the superior gender.
Trevor, if you wear neon pink spandex I must insist upon a picture.
Hotspur, I want to know what "working out to Richard Simmons both ways" means. Exactly how many ways are there to work out to Richard Simmons anyway?
Yes, whoever's more manly in the relationship is to blame. And this doesn't count for 1) women who are more macho in heterosexual relationships or 2) women who are more macho in homosexual relationships. Mostly b/c women simply do not have the same genetic makeup as men. For the most part we missed out on the cheating gene, the laziness gene, the I'll-leave-the-seat-up-when-I-damn-well-please gene, the I-don't-know-how-to-change-the-TP-roll gene, the why-can't-colors-and-whites-go-in-the-same-load gene, the I-don't-do-housework gene, the I-shouldn't-have-to-take-care-of-the-kids-because-I-work-full-time gene, and a myriad of other genes that by and large make women the superior gender.
Trevor, if you wear neon pink spandex I must insist upon a picture.
Hotspur, I want to know what "working out to Richard Simmons both ways" means. Exactly how many ways are there to work out to Richard Simmons anyway?
T
trevor
Guest
RE: Spur and Max.....
Would you like me to? I'd wear tight, pink spandex for you, but ONLY you Hotspur!
Okay Spur, TRUCE!!! You're killing me here girl!
T.
Would you like me to? I'd wear tight, pink spandex for you, but ONLY you Hotspur!
Okay Spur, TRUCE!!! You're killing me here girl!
T.
H
Hotspur
Guest
RE: Spur and Max.....
LOL- if I tell you what the other way is, Maximus, SNM will kick me off the forum. }(
Oh, good Lord, NO....I would not like seeing you in a spandex....Your butt probably will eat the spandex. I had more risque comment but wouldn't want to say it on here. :+
LOL- if I tell you what the other way is, Maximus, SNM will kick me off the forum. }(
Oh, good Lord, NO....I would not like seeing you in a spandex....Your butt probably will eat the spandex.
I had more risque comment but wouldn't want to say it on here. :+
T
trevor
Guest
RE: Spur and Max.....
Uh, could we be a tiny bit MORE bitter there Max? LOL!
Tell ya what. No pink spandex pics. But I will send you pics of me putting the toilet seat down, changing the TP, doing housework, doing laundry washing appropriate colors together, changing my kids' diapers and tending to their various needs. And also pics of me working out at 430 AM so I can be home from work to help out my wife, aaaannddd...pics of me working 50 to 60 hours a week when I DON'T have to work O.T. LOL!!!
I'm definitely NOT the kind of guy you described above Max. Just for the record.
I enjoy having fun with you two ladies. Hope we are friends and you are smiling like I am!!
Have a good night!!!
T.
Uh, could we be a tiny bit MORE bitter there Max? LOL!
Tell ya what. No pink spandex pics. But I will send you pics of me putting the toilet seat down, changing the TP, doing housework, doing laundry washing appropriate colors together, changing my kids' diapers and tending to their various needs. And also pics of me working out at 430 AM so I can be home from work to help out my wife, aaaannddd...pics of me working 50 to 60 hours a week when I DON'T have to work O.T. LOL!!!
I'm definitely NOT the kind of guy you described above Max. Just for the record.
I enjoy having fun with you two ladies. Hope we are friends and you are smiling like I am!!
Have a good night!!!
T.
T
trevor
Guest
RE: Spur and Max.....
Getting a little harsh aren't we Spur?
I'm actually quite proud of my butt....years of weights have made it so you could bounce quarters off of it. And my wife likes it fine!!
Good night ladies!
T.
Getting a little harsh aren't we Spur?
I'm actually quite proud of my butt....years of weights have made it so you could bounce quarters off of it. And my wife likes it fine!!
Good night ladies!
T.
H
Hotspur
Guest
RE: Spur and Max.....
>Getting a little harsh aren't we Spur?
Truth hurts, eh?
>I'm actually quite proud of my butt....years of weights have
>made it so you could bounce quarters off of it. And my wife
>likes it fine!!
>Good night ladies!
>T.
Are you sure it's not your head?? :+
>Getting a little harsh aren't we Spur?
Truth hurts, eh?
>I'm actually quite proud of my butt....years of weights have
>made it so you could bounce quarters off of it. And my wife
>likes it fine!!
>Good night ladies!
>T.
Are you sure it's not your head?? :+
wendybdh
Cathlete
RE: Relationships ending, blame and why is it always
Hi Wayne,
First off - ((((((Hugs)))))))
Sometimes things just don't work out and noone may be to blame. When things don't go as I expect, I just remember that there is always a reason for it. It may not be a reason we like or are even comfortable with, but a reason none the less that we may understand at some time or we may not. Just remember that there is a greater plan than the one that you and I make for ourselves. This always makes it easier to deal with difficult situations in life.
Keep us posted and hang in there,
Wendy
Hi Wayne,
First off - ((((((Hugs)))))))
Sometimes things just don't work out and noone may be to blame. When things don't go as I expect, I just remember that there is always a reason for it. It may not be a reason we like or are even comfortable with, but a reason none the less that we may understand at some time or we may not. Just remember that there is a greater plan than the one that you and I make for ourselves. This always makes it easier to deal with difficult situations in life.
Keep us posted and hang in there,
Wendy