Gender stereotypes and functional fitness?

A

amybmomofthree

Cathlete
Do you find that even though you workout and are in (or getting in!) good shape, that men just can't fathom the idea that you can actually DO things? I run into this so often that it's almost not even funny anymore.
I work in an office with one other woman and six guys. Now seriously, I'm younger than almost all of them, and in much better shape than all of them. And I drink the vast majority of our bottled water, so I'm usually the one who empties the 5 gallon bottle and changes it out. No matter what, one of the guys always insists that I shouldn't be lifting that heavy thing by myself. For a while, I actually used to step back and let them do it for me, but GEEZ! I can get it done faster and easier than watching some old overweight dude give himself a hernia trying to be chivalrous! Put down the man ego and face the facts! LOL
My dad has also been known to be guilty of this exact same thing, particularly when DH and I are moving furniture or something. I find it funny, because I'd be the first to ask for help if I couldn't lift something, but I guess there is still that old fashioned notion that women should sit quietly and look pretty!
Does anyone else have this type of thing happen to them?
 
I would have the exact same thing happen to me at work with the water jugs! lol And now that I am pregnant no one thinks I should be doing ANYTHING for myself! I am treated like I'm in a wheelchair or something and it gets really annoying! Don't do this, Don't do that, Don't lift this, Put that down. GRRRR! lol

~Wendy~

I smoked my last cigarette on March 17, 2004 at 10:00 pm!

http://lilypie.com/days/050519/1/0/1/-5/.png[/img]
EDD: 05/19/05
 
Happens to me all the time! On top of that, I have three kids that I juggle, so I am an expert at doing 50 things at one time with my eyes closed. My daddy and my DH respect my awesome and admirable capabilities, either that or they got tired of hearing "NO! I can do it myself!" Yet for some odd reason, at church when I carry 20 lb. box of toys to our classroom, a man will always offer to take it for me even though it is obvious I am doing just fine! That is okay to me, though. I, for one, am happy that chivalry is not dead! I think it is incredibly sweet and endearing.
 
Wendy, that is why I hated being pregnant! People think that you shouldn't do anything! You know what, though? By the time I got to my third baby I let people do whatever they wanted for me. I loved it! It is the only time in your life that people will do whatever you ask, cause your baby sure won't care how tired you are or how many times you get up with him. He will still cry and you will still be tired and noone will want to help you then! Aaargh! x(
 
You should see how everyone reacts when my barely 5 foot self needs no help to carry the 40 lb. bags of dog food out of the store. I kind of get a kick out of it.:D :D
--Lois

"Don't forget to breathe!":D :D
 
But I always need help at the grocery store when the put things on the top shelves.. I feel so helpless!!!!

Can anyone relate?
 
Oddly enough, I actually have the opposite experience. Everyone knows I'm fit and strong. No one offers to help me! Sometimes guys do offer out of "courtesy" but I can see their embarrassment (probably because they fear insulting me!) When I was pregnant, I shoveled snow and chopped ice off our very long sidewalk and steps. I was fuming at my husband because, afterall, I was pregnant. He comes from a large family of farmers where the women "plowed the back 40" an hour after giving birth (I'm joking!). Anyway, sometimes I wish men especially would offer a hand just because I'm a lady and they're supposed to be "gentlemen".

~ Kim

"Welcome the challenge...Embrace it...Don't fear it." -Cathe Friedrich
 
Robyn, if it's something that clearly needs a ladder, I ask for help. But if it's something that's a foot or so out of reach, I just climb the shelves (I know, I know... but good service is so hard to find these days), and if that doesn't help, I use something to bring the item closer to me. At Wal-Mart recently I used a big box of cereal to knock a bottle of wheat germ towards me -- carefully of course, didn't want to break it.:)

I've been asked again and again how I manage to carry my boy around and lift him into the shopping cart. He's almost 5 and small for his age, only in the 10th percentile as far as height and in the 25th as far as weight, so I don't get the question. I just shrug and say, "I just do." Nuff said.;-)

Pinky
 
I'm a shelf climber too!! If that's not possible I do ask for help. It definitely is not a short person's world.

--Lois

"Don't forget to breathe!"
 
>I'm a shelf climber too!! If that's not possible I do ask
>for help. It definitely is not a short person's world.
>
>--Lois

:7 I completely agree, Lois. This is what I get for not drinking my milk when I was a child. :7

Pinky
 
I get this (or used to, because now they know better!) when I want to carry 50# bags of birdseed myself.

Even worse, one of my now-retired colleagues ( a woman) seemed seriously concerned that I was in need of help to carry an overhead projector that I was borrowing from her room (maybe 15#). She make quite a stink about having one of the males in her class carry it for me (but I got away with it on my own).

I try to not perpetuate this "women need help with carrying heavy things" stereotype. Once, the former department secretary needed someone to move some boxes of xerox paper, and she said something about seeing if one of the "boys who work in the lab" could do it. I turned right around and told her to ask if anyone ("boys" or "girls" would like to do it, and not just assume that the "girls" couldn't or wouldn't --though I think in the end, the "girls" didn't want to).
 
Ha! Another shelf climber! I'm a "closet" climber, though. I try to do it when the aisles are empty in case I knock things over lol!
 
>Ha! Another shelf climber! I'm a "closet" climber, though. I
>try to do it when the aisles are empty in case I knock things
>over lol!


I used to be a "cabinet climber" in the kitchen when I was a kid. All the "good stuff" (ie: stuff I wasn't supposed to have, or at least not on demand!) was on the high cupboards, so I would open the bottom drawer, stand on it to climb to the top of the counter, and from there, I could reach whatever I wanted, though the "way high" shelf still needed some tippy-toeing to reach.
 
But maybe they are just being polite. I was at the grocery store the other day, lifting a 40 lb bag of cat litter off the shelf and putting it under my cart. A male employee walked by and completely ignored me. Now, I know I can lift 40 lbs with out batting an eye, but it would have been polite to have at least asked if I needed help.
 
I don't feel insulted if they want to help with my heavy stuff either. Go for it. I would definitely raise a my eyebrow if that happened to me Robin. It's just good manners even if I can do it by myself. The only time I don't expect that is if he's an elderly gentleman. Wouldn't want him to hurt himself. But as I just typed that, now I see I'm guilty of sterotyping too. Oops!

Marla
 
A funny story about this: I was at Walmart the other day, putting my groceries into my car and the cart guy was passing. Just as I'm reaching for a box of water bottles the guy asks if he can help. Here's the actual events:

ME: (reaching for box)
HIM: Do you want me to help with your...
ME: (effortlessly lifting box with one hand)
HIM: Water?...Oh, I guess not (sounding slightly disappointed)
ME: (All happy friendly like and privately smug) Thanks anyway!

I went home a VERY happy camper!

Nadine

~~Happines s is an Attitude~~
 
>But maybe they are just being polite.

Being polite is cool. But polite is offering help. When you politely decline that help, and people more-or-less insist that you need it, it goes beyond politeness into insult category.
 
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